Consumption Rebellion

Conquered the Clutterbug Nests!

2012-01-29T20:47:00.007+11:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you are all well and have had a good weekend. I had a busy weekend and am happy to report that I have finally conquered the 2 worst areas in my home for clutter - my garden and my garage!

My garden...well...its meh. After years of trying to like gardening and trying to learn more about how to garden and grow things, I have decided to accept that I just.don't.like.it. Not sure why - you'd think that with my love of outdoors, gardening would be something I'd easily take to.

But nah. So my garden gets overgrown, messy and weedy regularly. And when things become messy...that's when the clutterbug makes its nest (well, it does in my case anyway). Mess always seems to breed more mess.

So I happen to mention in passing to my neighbours that I am having trouble keeping my garden under control and wished that I had a low maintenance garden. I had 2 particular type of plants in my garden that are high maintenance (a very thorny hedge made out of miniature carpet roses and 2 trees that have poisonous berries, which I can't remember the name of) . These plants are just outside my fence line. I mentioned to them that I am saving up to get a gardener to get rid of these plants.

Then yesterday morning, I woke up and lo and behold my high maintenance plants were GONE! The garden fairies (aka my neighbours) had cut down the trees and hedge for me while I worked late on Friday night! How cool was that?!!

Their act inspired me to then clean up the rest of my garden. I trimmed all the plants right back, got rid of other (much smaller) high maintenance plants and ripped up the weeds. My garden fairies helped me finish the job of cleaning up and generally decluttering my garden.

Then I borrowed my dad's van (thank you Mum! I promise I won't tell Dad - lol) and took all the garden waste to the green tip. I ended up going there 3 times because I figured I might as well take the garden waste of my neighbours as well.

Funny thing about cleaning up what had seemed like a HUGE job, it also inspires me to clean up more. Just as how mess breeds mess, in my case, neatness breeds decluttering.

So I decided to tackle the other place where the clutterbug has made its nest....my garage. Long term readers of this blog would remember my rant over the state of this house when I moved in. You will note in that (November 2010) post how I said

My house is now clean and the inside is unpacked and organised. (Just the garage to unpack and organise!)

Um...well...the garage kinda got unpacked but never organised. And once it got messy (due to unpacked but also unorganised state)...well it got even messier. Until one day it just looked like a messier version than this:

The state of my garage at 9am this morning - note that I had already started clearing this out at 8am!

Yep, I had just enough space to put my car in. Ugh. But by tackling it bit by bit, this is my garage now!

My garage by 5pm today

I should mention that my neighbours (not the garden fairy neighbours - these are other neighbours) and my parents helped me clean this up by giving me the shelves at the top of the garage.

I ended up taking not-quite a van load to the hard rubbish tip. Amazing how much I have collected in the garage in 1 year!

So here I am now, relaxing and feeling wonderful that I finally conquered the two clutterbug nests in my house! I'm also feeling especially grateful that I have such great neighbours

P.S. I would've take pics of the garden too but currently its boring and empty. Once I've found low maintenance plants (your advice most welcome!) to stick in there, I'll take pics and post here!

I wish you all a good week ahead.

Do you know what is good for you?

2012-01-21T12:55:00.004+11:00

Hello everyone,

Today, I blogged in SGF about my "feel good" philosophy (something I've written here before). Its gotten me thinking...why is it that so many of us *don't* feel good? Is it social conditioning? Is it the advertising we are consistently bombarded with? Is it consumerism with its pressures to lead unhealthy lifestyles?

When I think about such things I often fall into the trap of thinking that recognising what is good for us is hard. That we (as a society) have lost our way so much that we don't even know what would make us feel good and the best we can hope for are flashes of excitement and entertainment.

Then in the midst of my over-analysis and self-obsession, I am reminded of the times when I do recognise what is good for me. It usually happens when I see, read or hear something and right away know that it is the absolute truth. Its the "aha" moments. Its the moments that make you smile inwardly and there is no doubt about the authenticity of that moment.

And the thing about those moments, it doesn't feel like its learning something new. Rather those moments feel like the shining of a light on knowledge that I already had but had forgotten.

So, "do I know what is good for me?" Yes, I do. Because that knowledge is inside me. I just have to consciously shine the light on that knowledge so I can acknowledge it.

Sunset on my way home the other day, photo taken by my son.

I wish you all well.

Decluttering Fail and a Rant

2012-01-08T21:45:00.007+11:00

Hi everyone!

Well, as you can see, I didn't post days 2 and 3 because...well, I didn't really finish my declutter. I finished all the bedrooms and most of of the living areas BUT I didn't tackle 3 of my hot spots (laundry cupboards, craft cupboard and cupboard under stairs).... On the plus side, my house is looking decluttered....just don't open the cupboards!

The living room right now

The other reason why I am calling my latest decluttering challenge a failure is that I haven't actually gotten rid of the stuff that's to go to charity because none of the op shops are taking donations at the moment! The new year must've caused a decluttering bug in my city because every charity shop has been overwhelmed with stuff...

...actually the volunteers at the op shops are not only busy sorting out genuine donations, they are also having to deal with this:

South ONC *- Photo originally from here

North ONC - Photo originally from here

Over the Christmas period, the op shops close (its Christmas people!) and unfortunately, many people either can not wait till they re-opened again before giving their stuff....I also suspect that many people used that opportunity to illegally dump stuff that are normally rejected by these shops.**

-Regardless, littering and dumping is JUST NOT RIGHT PEOPLES!! -sigh-

Okay, my rant is over. So all the stuff I had planned on giving to charity is currently in my garage...which is a nightmare because I haven't even started decluttering there! Ah well. Maybe now is the time for me to declutter my garage and then hold a "free garage sale" so I can get rid of stuff.

Ah well, here's to a new year! I hope you've had a good start to the year.

* ONC = Our Nation's Capital.

** Just in case you didn't know, op shops do not accept old CRT TVs, many baby furniture/accessories (as many old items do not meet new safety standards for babies), and most mattresses.

Day 1: Declutter by 2012 Challenge

2011-12-29T23:24:00.008+11:00

So today, I woke up full of good intentions of decluttering all of our bedrooms. I started off quite well. I had packed my daughter's clothes and shoes that no longer fit her into a paper bag ready to give away to friends.

I went through my books and got rid of 18 books ready to on-sell or give away.

I went through my wardrobe and packed up a large number of clothes to give away (1 large garbage bag).

Then off to the op shop I went to hand in all of the things that I wanted to give away.....

...and came back with 1 dress and 2 books for me; and 2 pairs of shorts for my daughter.

*sigh* Ah well. At least, I didn't come back with more stuff than I had given away.

....Then after that...well I got distracted. See, the day looked like this:

This is the second Christmas in a row when the grass is still green!

It was a beautiful day at ONC*!

So we ended up visiting friends instead and doing this:

Yep, its now been over a year since all water restrictions have stopped. And for the first time, my children celebrated the Christmas period the way I remembered celebrating it in my childhood - with good friends, a sprinkler and of course a water fight!

A wonderful day...and yes, sometimes, socialising *is* more important than my little challenges!

(But I promise, I'll get back to it tomorrow!)

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

PS: Oh but I did manage to list some of my items on Ebay! Now I know I had my decluttering rules in my previous post which included my selling rules, but my children are also now old enough to make the call on how *they* declutter. They have decided that some of their items should be sold rather than given away.

PPS: In the spirit of shameless promotion of our Ebay items click here to see the stuff the children and I are selling.

Clutter....(yep its that time again!)

2011-12-28T21:24:00.004+11:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas! I spent the day catching up with family and friends. It was busy but also stress-free. Can't get any better than that!

Speaking of stress, lately, I've noticed that my house is once again getting a bit cluttered. I don't know about you but clutter is something that I have to remain constantly on top of. When I let things get too cluttered, then I find that I get stressed more easily. To me, nothing is more peaceful or relaxing as coming home to a tidy and clutter-free home.

Amazingly, despite not really buying a lot of stuff, eventually my house becomes cluttered with stuff I don't really need or use any more. The last time I de-cluttered was about a year ago.

My clutter-free home this time last year

So the last week or so (and in between Christmas celebrations), I've been going through each room and sorting out the stuff. Here are my rules for decluttering and sorting:

1. If the stuff has not been used in the last 3 months and I can not name a specific date or event in the next year when I will use it again, then it is gone.

2. If the stuff is "good" but not high value or highly sought-after, then it is offered to friends and what doesn't get taken goes to charity or freecycle.

3. If the stuff is "good" but is of high value or highly sought-after, then it goes on the for-sale pile.

4. If the stuff needs repair but I haven't made the time to fix it in the last 6 months, then it goes in the bin (I've learnt that even freecyclers don't like most items that are in need of repair!).

So far, I have gone through my daughter's room and have about 2 large washing baskets of stuff that I need to get rid of. My aim is that by January 1 2012, I will have completely decluttered my house.

So over the next 3 days, you may be finding me on here quite a bit blogging how I'm going. (Blogging has always kept me accountable). Wish me luck!

Merry Charisma Wrist Everyone!

2011-12-25T00:15:00.003+11:00

Courage

2011-12-07T01:20:00.005+11:00

Hello everyone,

I've been thinking a lot about resilience in children for awhile now and thought I'd share this video of a courageous young boy who has showed incredible resilience and courage in the face of a very dark and prolonged period in his life:

Since sharing his video with his Facebook friends and his family, Jonah has posted this update to his video:

My friends were moved by the video and thought I did something important. I was encouraged to upload it to my Facebook page so more people could see it. Maybe it could help someone else going through the same thing. So I linked it Dec. 1st. My Parents saw it for the first time Dec, 2nd.
Then..... all this happened.
I never expected in a million years that it would have such a wonderful impact on so many people. I am truly humbled and truly thankful for all the love, encouragement and support from people all over the world. It's been incredibly overwhelming. I don't know what to say. Thank you so, so much!
Lastly, yes you have seen me happy in a couple short videos replies I posted; I would think that would be a good thing , and yes I do have friends, my High School friends, and I have made friends because when I came out they realized that they had hurt me and that they fealt sorry. The video is real, and true.
In the last few months everything eventually came out in the open, I felt a huge weight off my shoulders; I'm happy, I'm excepted for who I am, I'm more confident and feel stronger every day.
Thank you all, Love and peace to all who are hurting.
Jonah Mowry

Thank you Jonah and love and peace to you too. I hope that your dark days are truly over.

Building Resilience in Children

2011-11-29T20:06:00.005+11:00

Hello everyone!

Oh my goodness, has 2 months really gone since I last posted on this blog? And oh my goodness...is it really only 4 weeks till the end of the year? As I get older time really does fly faster and faster....

Ah well. I thought I'd finish what I started to write about in my last post here about Michael Carr-Greg's talk on Building Resilience in Children.

Firstly, I believe that resilience is the ability to accept that chaos and unfairness exists and still be positive anyway. So what are the characteristics of resilient children?

5 Characteristics of Resilient Children

A longitudinal study by Emmy Werner of children in highly abusive environments found that the resilient children in those environments had the following characteristics:

1. They each had a charismatic adult in their lives who made them feel safe, valued and listened to.

2. They were all competent socially and emotionally - ie they were good at naming and recognising others' feelings, good at managing their anger and good at resolving conflicts.

3. They each had a sense of meaning, purpose and belonging. They all realised that they are part of something bigger than themselves. For some this was religion. For others it was a deep passion in a sport, a community or a cause.

4. They engaged often in positive self-talk.

5. They all found an island of competence. They found something that they were good at and pre-occupied their days (outside of school or their normal environment).

Michael Carr-Gregg emphasised the need to find opportunities to give children the 5 characteristics mentioned above - surround them adults who care about them and make them feel safe, valued and listened to; teach them positive self-talk; and have them join extra-curricular activities that will pre-occupy them; encourage concrete activities that would give them an awareness of belonging in a world that is larger than themselves and their peers.

My children's donation and letters to Olivia

So where am I going with this and how is all of this relevant to this blog?

As my children grow older and become more immersed into this highly consumerist society of ours, I am becoming more and more aware that they *will* be exposed to harmful messages.

I have talked in this blog before that a "good" consumer is an anxious consumer. Part of an effective advertising campaign is to create a feeling that one needs particular goods or services in order to be "happy". And those campaigns are increasingly being targeted at our children.

Daily, my family and I are bombarded by media and advertising campaigns promoting unhealthy body images, unhealthy sexual behaviours and over consumption of goods.

While I can limit my children's exposure to these harmful messages, I know that there are those in our society that could (and would) judge and bully those who do not embrace these unhealthy practices or who do not fit into these "norms."

I'm starting to realise that building resilience in my children also plays an important part in helping my children become consumption-literate.

Anyway, its late and I hope that this post has been helpful to you. I would love to hear your thoughts on teaching children consumption-literacy!

Yet another reason why children should help out at home

2011-09-19T21:33:00.005+10:00

Hello everyone!

Today, I was lucky enough to attend a talk by Dr Michael Carr-Gregg on How to Build Resilience in Adolescents. Did you know that many medical professionals now consider adolescence starts at around 10 years of age? These days, the average age of children going into the physical transformations of puberty is 10.2 years!! Back in 1901, the average age for entering puberty was 16.

Its scary that all those changes - hormonal and physical - are happening at such a young age.

While I can go on about theories as to why its happening so early, that's really not what the talk was about - and not what this blog post is about.

During the talk, Michael pointed out 3 key things that really stuck with me. Resilience in children is built when children:

1. feel safe;

2. feel valued; and

3. feel listened to.

During dinner, I tell my children (aged 7 and 8) this. (My children and I often talk about our day during dinner). And my son pipes up:

S (age 7): So did you adults talk about what you guys can do to make those 3 things happen?

Me: No, it was mostly just talking generally.

S: Well, I can tell you real things that can make it happen. The first is you have to play games with us. Like playing scrabble and riding our bikes together. And the second is that you have to keep making us do fun jobs around the house.

Me: Fun jobs?

S: Yeah, like how you make me grind the coffee beans and rinse the dishes and put them away.

J (age 8): Yeah, like how I have to do the vacuuming and save our plastic bags so you can rewash them and save money. You know, all the things that we do to be a real important part of this family!

So there you go - my kids tips on how to feel listened to and valued. (I guess its a credit to me that they took being safe for granted and just shrugged it off as something normal in their world).

My daughter colour-coordinating her outfit with the vacuum cleaner to make the job more "fun".

I would love to go on a bit more about other points in Michael's talk but its late and I'm afraid it may have to wait another time! (There are times when I wish the days can be just a little bit longer - 24 hours is just not enough!)

I wish you all a good week ahead.

Newspaper bin liner - alternative to plastic bags

2011-09-14T21:37:00.002+10:00

Hello everyone!

Last week, I posted in Simple Green Frugal Co-op (other blog I write in) about what I'll be doing when I run out of plastic shopping bags to use as bin liners. As many of you know, from 1 November 2011, shops will no longer be able to give you a plastic shopping bags for the goods you buy from them.

This doesn't pose a dilemma for most people I know. Almost everyone I know uses reusable bags for the shops. However, almost everyone I know still does the occasional shop without them so we can stock up on the shopping bags to use as bin liners.

Anyway, my plan was to just use the plastic from existing bags (eg. bread bags) for wet scraps that can't go into the compost bin and to use newspaper for the rest. This is a simple plan and I know its one that I can stick to.

Having said that its also great to have other options. In my SFG post, a lady passed on the idea of using newspaper folded origami style for the bin liner. I think this is great and would work very well for my young children who may not be able to follow my original plan.

So here's a video that shows how to fold newspaper into a bin liner:

Anyway, I hope you found this post helpful. Till next time!

Simple = Slow?? I dont' think so!

2011-08-27T08:18:00.003+10:00

Hello everyone!

It has been awhile since last few blog posts! I've come to accept that my life is now being conducted at a very busy pace. My average day starts at 6:30am, preparing for the day for myself and my children, taking them to school, going to work, rushing back to pick them up from after-school care, dinner, homework, add in one of their activities there, then bed for the kids, then housework for me before bed at around 10:30pm-11pm. I think my average day is very much the average day of any sole parent with two primary school-aged kids.

It might sound counter to the simple life that I often talk about here, but to be honest, I feel that I am, more than ever, living a simpler life.

In between the busy-ness of my routine, I do have time to connect with my friends and family.

I have time to try something different.

"Storm over lake" me experimenting with metallic acylic paint, sand and shimmer.

I have time to cook and bake (most of the time).

Cake for my son's birthday

And I have time to exercise and be outside.

I even have time to sew (occasionally)!!

Wrap-around reversible skirt for my daughter

Living frugally and having little debt means that I am able to pay my all my bills, to indulge in little luxuries (we currently love going to Goodberries for ice cream once a fortnight) and take my children skiing.

In short, we are wealthy, healthy and more importantly, happy. Life can't get any better than that.

On another note, Kristi is the recipient of the $50 Bunnings voucher giveaway that I had below! Congrats Kristi! Please contact me at my email (address on the right bar) when you can!

I wish you all well.

"Tomorrow" A $50 Bunnings Voucher Giveaway

2011-07-30T08:03:00.006+10:00

Hello everyone!

As promised in my post below, here is the competition! I have one $50 Bunnings Gift Voucher here thanks to Planet Ark and Toyota for National Tree Day which is tomorrow.

To win the competition, simply take a photo of an outdoor activity you and your family will do tomorrow and blog about it in your blog tomorrow, then come back here and comment. Make sure you link back to this post and also National Tree day in your blog!

The winning blog post, will be featured here as well as get a $50 gift voucher to spend at Bunnings.

I will also be blogging about an outdoor activity my children and I will be doing tomorrow.

I am looking forward to reading and seeing photos of what you will be doing tomorrow!

I hope you are all well.

On my mind: trees

2011-07-29T08:15:00.001+10:00

Hello everyone,

This post is part of Rhonda's "On my mind" series and is inspired by the National Tree Day campaign.

Trees outside my backyard. Photo taken this morning. It was so cold! In the summer, I often string up the hammock between these trees and enjoy the view in the shade.

A few days ago, Jarrod from Green Bean contacted me to let me know of National Tree Day campaign. Now to be honest, I have never heard of the campaign before. But then, like many things in life, upon hearing it, suddenly I am seeing it everywhere. My children came home from school on Wednesday letting me know that today, is School's Tree Day. Schools Tree Day part of the National Tree Day campaign, organised by Planet Ark in partnership with Toyota and its Dealer network. Today, up to 250,000 Australian school children will take part in learning more about their environment.

In my children's school, they are planting 7 more trees. I'm glad they are doing that. In the past, I have to say I have been disappointed with decisions to cut down trees (as opposed to replanting) in my children's school property to make way for more buildings.

In March 2011, Planet Ark commissioned an independent study to investigate childhood interaction with nature and how this interaction is changing. The research was conducted by Pollinate, a specialist communications research company, and was sponsored by Toyota Australia.

The results of this research show that the landscape of childhood has changed. In a single generation there has been a profound shift from outdoor to indoor play. This comes at no surprise to me. Almost all of my children's learning takes place indoors. Even their environment learning centre is a building (with a small yard for planting vegetables)!! Someday, I would like my children to go to school where trees, outdoor play and outdoor learning are an integral part of their school environment.

National Tree Day is actually on this Sunday, 31 July 2011. (Click on link for more details.) I am planning on planting a tree in the nature reserve area just outside my backyard. My lovely neighbours have already checked it out with the local government and apparently, tree/shrub planting on the nature reserve along Lake Tuggeranong is allowed. How cool is that?!

To commemorate this event, I am planning on a little competition for readers of this blog. I will post details about it tomorrow (Saturday, 30 July 2011)!

On my mind: Why do they do this? cries

2011-07-22T15:46:00.009+10:00

Hello everyone,

Today's post is part of Rhonda's Friday on My Mind series.

Now normally, I like to write positively, or if not postively, then at least constructively. The way I see it, this blog are like snap shots of my thoughts and I'd hate to look back and see only the negative thoughts.

But today, I thought I'd capture something that bothers me A LOT. Regular readers here know that I live near a lake. And I love it. I love the lifestyle of this place. I love my view and I love coming home and seeing the water and feeling the peacefulness just wash over me.

While my side of the lake is beautiful, only a few kilometres away, this is what's on the other side of my lake:

Yep they're trolleys that have been pushed into the lake. I went for my morning cycle around the lake and took a photo of them. :(

Now the shopping centre is about 2 blocks away from the lake. So people would've had to take the trolley out of the shopping centre, walk it two blocks, THEN somehow push it over the wire barrier and in to the lake. :(

Why?

Why would you go and wilfully pollute something so beautiful? Its not even laziness (where people can't be bothered to put rubbish into the bin). This is wilful pollution.

This lake is home to many types of fish and water birds (I've seen about 6 different species), including these black swans:

(These swans came up to me as soon as I stopped my bike. :) )

This lake gives pleasure to all those who walk, cycle, row, paddle, swim and, or sail in it. All along the lake are parks and free barbecues. There are so many places in the world where facilities like this would NOT be free to just anyone. This lake is a gift.

So why pollute it?

Every now and then, the government comes along and remove all the trolleys out of the lake. This comes at a cost... and its a cost to all of us tax payers.

I wish I can do something to stop this, but I don't even know where to start.

Guess what this is?

2011-07-16T19:58:00.007+10:00

Hello everyone!

What a week I've had! I managed to get a week off for the winter school holidays and I've been having a ball with my children, ice skating, exploring the local parks and even had a bonfire to toast marshmallows.

Today, I spent much of the day painting with my daughter. Both my children are quite creative - my son with music and my daughter with paints and drawing.

The last week of the school was NAIDOC Week. My daughter learned about Indigenous culture, dreamtime stories and also did some dot painting. Her painting inspired me to do something similar at home.

Inspired by Indigenous art, this painting is of something that is very close to my heart. Each element was chosen carefully to depict something that means much to my children and me.

Can anyone guess what it is?

(Hint: It is a physical place. Second hint: Southern ONC natives will have a distinct advantage over guessing this.)

Sigh the picture really doesn't do justice to the colours in this painting.

Anyway, I hope you are all well and enjoying your weekend.

On parent bashing...

2011-06-29T00:20:00.002+10:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you are all having a good week. I've just spent a wonderful weekend winter camping and caving with my children.

Me and my son :)

I love spending time with my children with no internet/tv/media/shopping distractions. I love exploring our world together and learning basic survival skills. During the weekend, my children and I re-learned the importance of teamwork, depending and working with others. I am so proud of my children. I feel truly privileged to be their parent.

Which brings me to something that has been in my mind for awhile. In my efforts to raise my own awareness on how consumption affects me and my children, I come across many many articles depicting "bad" parents.

They seem to be everywhere - they are the parents who buy highly sexualised or inappropriate items for their children. They are the parents who buy convenience fast food over cooking wholesome meals. They are the parents who buy their children too many things to make up for the lack of time they spend with their kids.

...but you know what? I've been that parent and no doubt there will be times that I will be that parent again. I've bought videos/electronic games so that my children will be quiet while I get some extra work done. There have been weeks when I've bought a lot of fast food due to lack planning, or hell even just lack of energy to cook after too many days of juggling a career and sole parenting. I can not even count the number of times when I catch myself overcompensating my lack of time or inattention by buying my children too many things.

Now I know what most of you will say - "its not like you do this every day!" But you know what? It may not be everyday, but it IS still a part of my overall parenting. Just as how caving, camping, cooking wholesome food and conscious consumption is also part of my overall parenting. Yes, bad parenting choices are part of my world too.

But this post is not (despite appearances) about me flogging myself. What I'm trying to get across is that I can not parent in a bubble. Many of us parents have to cope with parenting in a highly commercialised world where over-consumption, or consumption as a replacement is normal and even encouraged.

Just like everyone else, I am susceptible to the constant advertising and marketing aimed at my children and myself. Companies invest billions of dollars on consumer research, advertising and marketing. Collectively, they form a complex, sophisticated system aimed at encouraging and normalising the consumption of goods and services that my family and I may not need.

What this means for me is that I am constantly having to navigate my way through a society where highly sexualised images, goods and services are depicted from anything as "desirable", "funny", or even as symbol that one has now attained "adulthood". (Anyone else note how Miley Cyrus has now publicly dumped her "Hannah" persona and has adopted a "bondage" look?).

While companies have seemingly endless resources for finding out ways to influence my children, I have only one thing. My intuition for what is right for my children. ...and sometimes that intuition is wrong... or just plain worn out from the constant bombardment of conflicting priorities and messages.

There are times when I find myself feeling so torn between giving free rein to my children's natural desire to be part of their community or banning certain things at the risk of them feeling isolated from that community. There are times when I also find myself buying things only to realise later that perhaps those things should not be a part of our lives.

So on the subject of the (sometimes subtle) parent bashing in these articles... I ask that we acknowledge the difficult world us parents are living in. What we need is more support and awareness of the issues. Parent bashing just does not help.

I wish you all well.

(For those who want to read more about the issue of consumption and children, I encourage you to visit: http://www.globalissues.org/article/237/children-as-consumers).

On my mind...

2011-06-17T14:17:00.006+10:00

Today, I received a lovely surprise from my workmates

Hello everyone!

Today's post is part of Rhonda's Down To Earth "On My Mind" Friday Feature.

Today, I've got the day off 'cause I'm a little sick. Don't worry, its nothing serious and I should be back to 100% in a few days.

Its nice being home. I count myself so lucky that I find my home a restful and healing place. Its my sanctuary.

Having said that, I received a lovely surprise today from my workmates. These gorgeous flowers with a sweet card wishing me to get well soon.

And I am reminded that outside of my home, I am surrounded by people who wish me well. They remind me that sanctuaries are everywhere.

So today, I thought I'd post and take my time to appreciate this little truth:

Happiness is a by-product of living my life according to my values.

I am reminded that happiness is something one can not pursue but something that happens when one lives their life well.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend ahead.

Hooray! (a budgeting high)

2011-06-13T15:45:00.000+10:00

Hello everyone!

See this??! I have gotten my kitchen and laundry in my new house renovated!

One of the coolest things about finally having a kitchen and laundry that I like is that I managed to get these rooms done (including having cupboards professionally installed) without having to borrow money.

I often get asked "How do I do it?" How do I manage to save so much despite having a mortgage and being on a single income?

I have blogged here before about menu planning, buying second-hand and not over-consuming in the first place. While all those things have certainly helped me, perhaps the biggest thing that motivates me to save are having clear goals.

For me, financial goals like "being rich" or even "being secure" are too vague. My financial goals have to be concrete - like "get a new kitchen and laundry". I can visualise goals like these and the clearer I can "see" it in my head, then the easier it is for me to save for it. For me visualising has always been an effective way to budget. By visualising my goals, I am able to stick to spending mindfully and carefully.

Now that I have finished this goals, my next big goal is to start building an investment portfolio. Trying to visualise that but can't quite see it yet. Still, I have faith that things on that front will soon become clearer for me.

What about you? What is your budgeting "trick"? Do you save? What motivates you to save?

I hope you have had a good weekend and wish you well for the coming week.

Sinking in...what I've learned ($2 a day challenge)

2011-06-04T17:31:00.002+10:00

Hello everyone,

I hope you are all having a good weekend. As usual, mine is very busy juggling all the things that come with sole parenting two very active children.

Me and my children

Despite my busyness, I have to admit that my mind keeps returning to what I experienced during my live below the line challenge. I have mentioned some of it before in passing but I thought I'd elaborate on what has sunk in for me.

When stressed and under pressure, I made bad nutritional choices. This tells me that I am not immune to media/advertising that tell me that non-nutritious food is "fun" and offered an "escape" from the stress. I never realised that I could succumb to emotional eating but there you go.

As a result of my bad nutritional choices, I felt soooo tired all the time. Littlest things like getting dinner done, getting to work in time, organising my children's everyday school needs became an effort.

That despite my bad nutritional choices, there was no joy in my eating during those 5 days. It was a very strange combination of being hungry but not looking forward to eating. Food was just a means to stop hunger pangs. I certainly did not want to eat more of the same!

Without joy in my eating, and without the ability to eat what everyone around me ate, I felt isolated. I was surrounded by friends and family and I ate my own food while they ate theirs...and I felt disconnected. This highlighted for me the importance of the little things we do together to connect and without it, one's entire world becomes different.

I also realised during my $2 a day week, that if this was for real, I probably can not consume according to my values... and that my values would drastically change. And if my values would drastically change, then I would make choices using a value system that would be completely foreign to the way I am now.

And I guess this highlights for me how vastly poverty can affect a person. I wonder, if I was living on the poverty line, would I be emotionally and physically capable to get my kids to school? Would I be able get a job? Would I be able to function and make choices in a way that is socially acceptable? Would I still be "me"? And I suspect that the answer to all of this would be "no". I probably would not.

And this makes me admire even more, those who work with people in poverty - dealing with people who are vastly different from them. And I admire even more those very few people who have experienced extreme poverty and have come out on the other side.

I wish you all well.

$2 a day challenge - what my daughter learned

2011-05-26T21:32:00.008+10:00

Hello everyone!

Have had a busy few days! I'm enjoying eating a variety of food again and have been feeling so grateful for having such a wonderful life.

I should mention that I was invited to Parliament House yesterday to have morning tea with the team members from Live Below the Line, Global Poverty, Oaktree Foundation and several Members of Parliament. I had a wonderful time learning a bit more about the people behind this great campaign.

Some of the LBTL team with some of the MPs who are doing/did the challenge.

On the day of the morning tea, my 8 year old daughter also finished her speech for her first public speaking competition! She agreed for me to blog it today with the caveat: "..but make sure you don't use my full name Mum!" Ah, so proud of my cybersafe girl. :)

So here is her speech:

"Hi my name is........... and I will talk about meal times at my house.

When I eat dinner, I have all sorts of food. But on 16 to 20 May, my mum didn't have all sorts of food. She only ate pasta, sweet potatoes, cheese and peanuts. My mum ate this because she was doing the Live Below the Line Challenge.

The Live Below the Line Challenge is a way of teaching people how poor people live. My mum could only spend $2 a day for all her food and drink.

I thought her food wasn't enough. I had big meals that would fill me up.

During meal times, I learned that poor people don't have enough food or money. They have to spend $2 a day for not only their food but for everything that they have. Some of them also don't have homes, money, food and drink. Sometimes, they sleep in clothing bins.

Now that I know about this, this is what I think about my meals: filling, enjoyable and great.

Now that the Live Below the Line Challenge is over, our meal times are back to normal.

I feel sorry for the poor people and I feel happy with my life."

Please wish her luck for her first public speech!

I hope you are all well and having a good week.

P.S. I've learned its not too late to do the challenge or if you can't do the challenge, then you may want to think about sponsoring me!

MIDNIGHT! I've finished the $2 a day challenge!

2011-05-21T00:08:00.002+10:00

Hi everyone!

Here I am posting after 2 bowls of cereal (scoffed in 8 mins). I am a happy camper. The Living Below the Line Challenge was HARD and I'm still processing much of what I've learned over the last 5 days.

My lasting impression here is that, what I went through was just a tiny inkling of what people in extreme poverty must face every day of their lives. As one other blogger wrote in the LBTL site - what we went through was not hardship - its just not eating much.

And he's right. I didn't *really* go through the ordeal of only having the purchasing power of $2 a day. What I had was the purchasing power of $2 for food and drink. And I did that by choice. I didn't have to give up my comfortable house, with heating (I'd hate to think how those in poverty are coping this winter - its bloody cold here in the ONC*). I didn't have to give up electricity, running (and clean) water and my car.

What's more, I continue to have the support of my family and friends. I continue to work in my great job with good conditions and one that gives me a great income.

So what did I learn? A tiny inkling of how far my world is to those in extreme poverty.

A big big thank you to all of those people who have sponsored me and supported me during this challenge. You guys are wonderful.

I wish you all a great weekend.

Day 4: $2 a day challenge. Almost there!

2011-05-19T22:44:00.003+10:00

Hi everyone!

Yay, only 1 more day to go! I'm at the stage now where I'm planning what I'll be having to eat after this challenge is over. I'm planning on a midnight snack on Friday night, a big brekkie on Saturday and then dinner out on Saturday night. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

Aside from [tasty and varied] food, the other thing I miss is the social aspects that surrounds food. I've had to turn down many a coffee and lunch invite this week. I've missed having people over for dinner.

And it feels...isolating. It reminds me a little of when I first stopped shopping during my year of not buying brand new. Then I realised that shopping was one of the ways I used to connect with people.

Now I'm realising that food plays a big part with how I connect with people now.

Oh and my daughter has entered a public speaking competition and she's decided to do her 3 minute speech on what I've been doing! She wants to talk about the differences between her meals and mine, why I am living on $2 a day for food, and what's she's learned about extreme poverty from this. I'll ask her permission to post her speech on this blog.

Anyway, this is just a short update. I've just finished work and I'm really tired.

I hope you are all well.

$2 a day challenge - impact on my family - day 3

2011-05-18T18:06:00.004+10:00

Hi everyone!

YAY! I'm halfway there. I'll be honest, out of all my consumption challenges, I am not enjoying this at all. $2 a day means no choice. I thought I'd be able to be creative with this challenge but...nup...."creative" is more like "making do" and actually leaning more towards "have to".

I have to have my (bland) food...over and over again.

I worry about whether my portions will be enough.

I have to make do when I get my portions wrong.

Last night, I worked late. At around 11pm, I decided I needed to have a snack. So I had a small snack...and now I'm worried that I will miss out on a meal portion for the last day. While my food is not exactly the kind of food I'd jump hoops for, it is my ONLY food. I do need to eat.

My children have been watching me while I've been going through this challenge. We've been talking about what I'm doing and what poverty is like. They're good conversations to have.

This challenge has also affected us in another way. See, I have always let my kids decide how much they eat. This has always worked for us. I'm a great believer that everyone is born innately knowing how to regulate themselves - especially when it comes to their own bodies. I believe that its long term exposure to negative messages in one's environment that leads us to have a diminished capacity to self-regulate.

My children barely have any leftovers...having said that, there have been 2 occasions now when my kids changed their minds and decided they didn't want all of the 2nd (or 3rd) helping of their meal. And so they have a little bit left - not enough for a meal but definitely not a scraped clean plate....and it hurts me watching them put that little bit in the bin.

Because, they are eating nutritious (and much tastier) food than me.

For the first time ever, I asked them to finish their food. They refused with that certainty people have when they know they really truly have had enough. I'm glad they can refuse but it still hurts. For the first time, I even used the line:

"Do you know how many people out there are starving?!!"

I never understood that line before...and I doubt my kids understand it now. But I think as a result of this challenge, I'm starting to get a tiny inkling of what that means.

Still, all of our conversations as a result of this challenge has had an effect. Today as we were driving home, my son suddenly says, "Mum, I'm going to give money for your challenge because I want to help the poor people."

And so I'm proud to say, my children both gave a little of their pocket money towards the Global Poverty Project.

I'm very proud to be their mum.

I hope you are all well.

Day 2 ($2 a day challenge)

2011-05-17T18:55:00.006+10:00

Hi everyone!

Firstly, huge huge thank you for your fantastic comments in my last post. You are right, so many people do fall through the cracks. Its scary to think that in this wealthy country of ours, there are people who are living on $2 a day. I am finding this challenge difficult and I'm only applying it to food - I can not even imagine what it would be like to have to apply it to everything.

Today, I had my first meal that had butter.

Mmm...butter, how I love you. (And I never realised! I'm sorry I take you for granted.)

I had roasted sweet potatoes with butter and peanuts and oh my goodness how much of a difference does butter make?! I loved it so much that I've decided to cook the rest of my sweet potatoes the same way (so yes, I've used up all 4 tabs of butter in one hit by cooking with it).

Anyway, despite my blah of a first day, I actually had a wonderful night's sleep. I guess no caffeine can do that to you. So I woke up feeling refreshed...and hungry...but not looking forward to eating (because my food was so bland).

Today, I've realised how much caffeine affects my life. Aside from a wonderful night's sleep, I find I'm now hungry for brekkie. Confession time - I very rarely eat breakfast. I have 2 cups of coffee and that's it for me and I don't get hungry until around 12:30pm. I've heard that caffeine is an appetite suppressant, but never thought too much about it 'cause well....I eat a lot for someone my size. Without those cups of coffee, I find myself devouring my (bland) soup for brekkie and gulping warm water like its going out of fashion. Today, I started to get hungry again at 11am, and so I drank 1 glass of my cola. And voila - hunger was gone until 12:30pm. Weird but not weird. I'm just blown away by how strong an appetite suppressant it is!

I'm finding that with this challenge, worry is a big part of my life. I worry that I may have eaten too big a portion and won't have enough for the next meal. I worry that I am not able to think as fast or as clearly as I used to. I worry that I am not moving as quickly as I am used to. Its an awful thing having to worry like this.

On the other hand, I am feeling sooooo grateful. I am grateful that this is only a 5 day thing. I am grateful for the life that I have. I am grateful for my family and friends and the support that they provide. I am grateful for working in a supportive environment. I am grateful for my job and the stable income that it brings. I am grateful for the choices that I have - including the choice to live simply. I am grateful that "worry" is not a big part of my normal life.

My family and me

Anyway, this is going to be another short blog post. I have work to do tonight (now that the kids are in bed) so I best get to it.

If you would like to donate towards addressing global poverty, you can sponsor me by going to:

http://www.livebelowtheline.org.au/eilleene

"No thank you" & what the $2 means ($2 a day challenge)

2011-05-16T21:13:00.005+10:00

Hi everyone!

Today I woke up and the first thought that went through my head was: "I can't have a coffee."

The second thought that went through my head was: "Is there any point in getting up?"

Coffee....how I miss you.

Today, I was surprised how much I had to say "no, thank you." Today, it felt like so many people offered me coffee, food, or even a bit of their food ("would you like a chip?"). And over and over again, I said "No thank you." The purpose of this challenge is for me to gain a better awareness of what it means to be poor. But I have to say, I feel very privileged to have such generous people around me.

I'm finding myself worried about the week ahead. My food is...okay. Its not bad but its not great.

But I digress. The other point of this post was for me to explain the $2 in the Live Below the Line Challenge. The $2 a day is the Australian dollar equivalent of the purchasing power of those who are in extreme poverty all over the world. So basically, if someone living in Australia was in extreme poverty, they would be able to buy Australian goods to the value of $2 a day. Its NOT AUD$2 being used to buy goods in, say, the Philippines (my birth country).

So this challenge is really driving home to me how dire the consequences are for those who are living in extreme poverty. $2 worth of purchasing power is not a lot. Especially since it would apply to all living expenses - not just food. In a way, this challenge has made it "easy" for those of us who are used to wealth (and we are wealthy in comparison).

I wonder if there are people in Australia in extreme poverty? After all, we have a welfare system, don't we? Then I think of all the "hoops" one has to go through to access this welfare system....do people get missed?

Anyway, I'm suffering very much from caffeine withdrawals so I will leave it here.

I hope you are all well.

PS Just in case you would like to sponsor me during my week, you can do so by going to my Live Below the Line challenge page on: http://livebelowtheline.org.au/eilleene

Groceries - OMFG ($2 a day challenge)

2011-05-15T08:21:00.007+10:00

Hello everyone!

Firstly, a big thank you for all of you who commented on my last post. I am quite nervous about this so your support means a lot to me. I also blogged a bit about why I am doing this challenge in my Live Below The Line page. Long term readers here would know that children's rights are very very important to me. Extreme poverty is the very enemy of children's rights. As Von said in my last post - extreme poverty creates a market for the exploitation and abuse of children.

But back to the original purpose of this post....

So there I was thinking I had the whole weekend to prepare for this but...as usual, my busy life has gotten in the way. A few things have cropped up which meant that I was out and about for much of yesterday and for much of today....which meant that I didn't have time to shop around carefully to get the best amount I can out of my $10 worth of groceries.

So last night, in between errands, I ducked over to Woolworths and bought my groceries...only to find that due to the lateness of the hour, most of the things I wanted were not there and I had to come up with a new plan on the spot! AUGH!

Instead, this is what I ended up with:

O.M.G. 4 ingredients and 1 drink = $9.61. Which means I still have 40c to spare (I paid cash so I can get the 1c back). I'm thinking of buying those little butter packet things at the local work canteen for 10c each (which would make 4 dollops of butter) tomorrow.

So first observations:

1. With a $10 budget (and no real plan in place), I had to buy things that were not value for money. For example: Pumpkin was 92 cents a kilo but the smallest pumpkin there (yes I was weighing them) was 6 kilos. That would take too much out of my budget. So I ended up buying sweet potato which was $2.20 a kilo but I could get smaller portions so I didn't have to use up so much of my budget.

2. Very tempting to suddenly consume against my values!! First time I've had this dilemma in years! Caged eggs were only $2.10 for a dozen!! I haven't looked at caged eggs for years so I had forgotten how cheap they were....so I picked up one....then put it back....then circled the aisle and picked it up again....then put it back. And in the end decided rather than eggs I'll go cheese instead.

3. Very tempting to go with an idea Owlfan had (inadvertently) put in my head - to buy in bulk as per normal and then just apportion some of it ending up with $10 worth. BUT then I realised that if I was truly living on $2 a day, then I would never be able to afford to buy in bulk and so technically I would be offering myself food for prices that people in extreme poverty would never get......so in a surge of optimism in the midst of my anxiety, I decided that this would be a great way to show my resilience and creativity with limited resources.

...okay, I'm looking at that picture again and I've realised that my optimism may have been delusional. I also don't know WHAT I was thinking by buying cola....actually, I know, in the midst of anxiety I suddenly craved for caffeine and convinced myself that I could not possible last 5 days without caffeine...hence the cola. *sigh*

So what can I do with pasta, peanuts, sweet potato, cottage cheese, butter and cola?

1. Baked sweet potato, pasta with peanuts - this won't be what I'm having tomorrow 'cause I don't have the butter yet. But it would be a spare meal.

2. Pasta and cheese - what I might have for lunch

3. Sweet potato soup - what I might have tomorrow for brekkie....um with the cola?

4. Sweet potato and cheese fritters - what I might have for dinner

My plan is to also snack on peanuts throughout the day.

*sigh* Let's see how we go. Wish me luck!

I'm going to survive on $2 a day for food and drink

2011-05-14T07:43:00.007+10:00

Hello everyone!

Tried to blog about this yesterday but blogger was down (and had been down for awhile). I'm so glad its back! The experience of blogger being down was good though - when the choice to blog was taken away from me, I realised how much I really love blogging.

..and that makes a good intro on what I want to blog about today. Yesterday, I signed up for the Live Below the Line challenge. Starting this Monday 16 May, for 5 days, I will try to survive on only $2 a day for food and drink.

Now long term readers here would know that I am able to feed my family for under $100 a week. By living consciously and carefully, I have learned how to feed my family nutritiously for very little.

BUT that is a choice I make and the money I save from grocery budgeting is there for my family to enjoy.

The kids and me - happy and healthy

For those living in extreme poverty, they do not have the choices I have. They do not have the security my family and I enjoy in knowing that we will always have enough food on the table and a roof over our heads. There are $1.4 billion people worldwide who are living on the equivalent of AUD$2 day.

Now I don't know about you, but when I first heard this figure of $2 a day, I thought "well, that's not too bad - $2 can buy quite a bit in most developing countries." But through this project, I've learned that that is not true at all. $2 a day is what these people live on for EVERYTHING - food, shelter, transport and health.

And every research I have read tell me that the poorer one is, the more health problems they have and the harder it is to maintain shelter - let alone food.

I can not relate to that way of living. It is completely out of my frame of reference. I can only imagine the heartbreak these people face in knowing that their children will most likely live the same they do and face the same problems.

So I am going to try and help a very worthy project - during my week of living on $2 a day for food and drink, I am going to try and raise $500 for the Global Poverty Project.

In the meantime, with only 2 days to go before I start, I have to say, I am savouring all my food and drink choices at the moment. I am so going to miss my coffee......

Wish me luck!

P.S. No my children are not going to join me on this one (though they want to). They are too young. I will be shopping and cooking for them as per normal. Tomorrow, I will pre-make as much of my meals as possible so I eat my $2 meal(s) with my kids.

P.P.S. No I will not eat my children's leftovers (not that they have leftovers anyway). Nor will I eat out of existing food in my pantry or eat at friends/workmates/my mum's place(s). That defeats the purpose of this exercise.

P.P.P.S Yes I will blog tomorrow about what I buy and cook for my week.

P.P.P.P.S I would really really appreciate it if you could sponsor me during my week! Go to here: http://www.livebelowtheline.org.au/eilleene to see how I'm going!

New winter wardrobe - dressed by op shop

2011-05-06T18:38:00.011+10:00

Hello everyone!

Well, it looks like I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that my life as a working sole parent will always mean that I will always be busy - and the times when I'm not busy, I am spending outdoors....what this means for blogging? Well, I guess, it just means that my blogging will always be sporadic. I could give it up...but I don't want to. I still enjoy blogging (when I get to it) so I will continue haphazardly posting.

Anyway, its getting colder and colder here in the ONC*. I've been on a bit of an op shop splurge to update my winter wardrobe. I hadn't bought winter clothes since...well, since I bought this cape from the op shop back in 2007. Thought I'd show off some of my finds:

Grey wool vest (St Vinnies) $7; Light green jumper (love the detail at the front of it - Salvos) half price at $2; Grey corduroy pants (Salvos, also at half price) $2; grey shoes (bought in 2007 - Salvos) $5; belt (free - Salvos) - Total cost - $16

Coat (this is so gorgeous and warm - St Vinnies $20); Scarf (from my daughter's wardrobe and was a gift); Cream pants (Trash and Treasure $1); Brown top (Trash and Treasure $1); Bronze boots (these look like they've never been worn - St Vinnies $25). Total cost = $46

Oh and here's a photo without the coat and scarf:

Pleather (aka polyester made to look like leather) jacket (St Vinnies) $15; Blue top (Trash and Treasure) $1; White pants (Trash and Treasure) $1); Black boots (bought last year St Vinnies) $15. Total cost = $32

And here's photo without the coat:

Can't see the boots but its here in this pic:
Blue top (Trash and Treasure) $1; Black skinny pants (Salvos) $5. Total cost = $6

Oh and you must see the detail on this blue shirt:

So there you go a completely new winter wardrobe for $100!! Not bad. I love not just having "new" clothes but also getting those clothes at 0 cost to the environment and helping charities at the same time.

Anyway, what about you? Have you bought anything from the op shop recently to update your winter or (if in northern hemisphere) summer wardrobe? Care to share and blog about it?

I think the more we normalise buying second hand, the better!

Hope you are all well.

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

Made my own floor lamp!

2011-04-22T10:10:00.005+10:00

Hi everyone,

Had a wonderful day yesterday. Woke early and thought I'd try my hand at making a floor lamp. (Yeah, the weird things that float into my head sometimes...). My ceiling lights are those halogen lights where one switch turns on about 3 or 4 of them. Not good for lessening my electricity consumption!! Luckily, I love lamps.

Anyway, I thought I'd make the floor lamp by finding things around the house. So using fabric, a plant holder and some lights, I made this:

Not sure if I like it (maybe I should've used printed fabric?) but the kids and I had fun making it. Cost was $0 and as usual, the materials used were all sourced 2nd hand to begin with.

I hope you are all having a good start to the Easter holiday!

Happy Fairtrade Easter!

2011-04-21T09:25:00.008+10:00

Hello everyone!

Today I have a day off work. (yay!) I am so looking forward to this long weekend and spending time hanging out with my kids.

As many of you know, this Easter, so many people will be giving chocolate Easter eggs.

To this day, one of my most popular posts here is my list of slave-free chocolates. That list once again needs updating but I am finding it really hard to find the time to do my research all over again at the moment. (Anyone care to do it for me?) Having said that, I can assure you that the use of child-slaves in the chocolate and cocoa industry still exists. See this recent news article: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/04/20/3196325.htm

Long-term readers here will know that I always strive to consume according to my values. I can not support child-slavery (nor do I believe that it is necessary for local economies). To give my children chocolate that used beans harvested by child slaves is, to me, well....just wrong. And to give those eggs to mark an event that is supposed to celebrate life??

Here is the video that changed the way I bought chocolates. I've put it up here before but thought I'd put up again - as a little reminder to myself more than anything as to why this is so important to me:

Video made by Cody Maasen who was a highschool student at the time - shown here with permission from Cody)

I believe that the best way to stop child-slavery is to stop participating in it.

I wish you all a safe and happy Easter.

Overwhelmed

2011-04-11T22:06:00.004+10:00

Hello everyone!

Phew, I've just come out of a very intense couple of weeks at work, involving the launch of 2 projects and associated work travel. This is in addition to my son being sick and the many end of term activities for my children.

Coming out of such an intense period is probably a great time for me to answer Laurie Graves' question in my last post about work. She asked me: "How do you deal with the feeling of being overwhelmed?"

Firstly, I think that feeling overwhelmed from time to time is normal. (Yes, I know I'm weird.) Feeling overwhelmed is something that happens when things are intense. I don't know anyone who doesn't feel overwhelmed from time to time. Sometimes feeling overwhelmed can even help. I know that when I'm feeling overwhelmed I also become hyper vigilant - which often means I am better at attending to details. I have learned that emotions that feel "yuk" doesn't mean that its "bad". Another example of this are labour pains - they are "yuk" but they're certainly not "bad"!

But I digress...

So you can probably see that one of my coping mechanisms for feeling overwhelmed is by rationalising it as above. I also try to remember that intense periods are just that - small chunks of time that will pass and eventually settle down to a slower pace. I also try to maintain confidence in my strength, in my skills and in my ability to learn during those intense periods. I know that the times when my feeling of being overwhelmed turns to a negative anxiety, are also the times when I believe I do not have what it it takes to cope with it.

But enough of the psyche (psycho?) aspects of how I cope with feeling overwhelmed. I also have very practical coping mechanisms. In order of importance:

1. Fresh air and exercise. I know - everyone hates hearing this. After all, who has time to exercise? Well, I've learned that the more I am outdoors and doing something active the more energy I have. In the last 2 weeks, I have made it a point to take at least 30 mins out of my day to go for a walk, a run or a bike ride. Sometimes that activity happened at 6am in the morning - sometimes its right in the middle of the day. But I still did it. I also made it a point to go to taekwondo training (2 hours) at least once a week.

2. I do something creative. Yep, the more stressed I am, the more I need to create or do something beautiful. In this case of the last 2 weeks, I played my piano and I sewed. Its actually the first time I sewed since I moved into this house. And oh my goodness, how good did I feel to do it!

Bag that I made last weekend. Materials are op-shopped fabric and handles I rescued from a broken laundry basket.

Okay, I know, I know... you're probably asking me "how do you find the time to do this?" Well...I guess I just make the time. I make the time because I know they're important coping mechanisms....And I also had less sleep. That's because I can cope with less sleep but I NEED to do exercise and I NEED to do something creative.

Matching card carrier (the part on the right side is large enough to hold billls and my mobile phone, as well as a matching coin purse.

I guess I'm lucky, I know now (after much trial and error) what energises me and helps me cope with intensely busy periods.

But I'm interested on what other people do to cope with feeling overwhelmed! After all, what suits me now may not suit me later and having an arsenal of ideas would be great.

So what do YOU do when you're feeling overwhelmed?

Thoughts on "work"

2011-03-22T09:29:00.001+11:00

Hello everyone,

A few weeks back, I posted in SGF (the other blog I write in) a little ramble about my thoughts on pocket money, rich and poor. In that post, I wrote a little bit about my thoughts on "work" and I thought I'd expand those thoughts here.

See I like work. Its true I do. And when I say I like work, I don't just mean paid employment - I am talking about all the things that people call work - making my house nice and clean, ironing my clothes, and re-ordering/decluttering my house. Most of all, I enjoy helping people with their work.

To me work is primarily about being social and being healthy. Since the dawn of time, we have worked together to survive - to hunt or grow our food, to build our houses and our towns. Through work, I have learned how to get things done with people who are very different from me and most of all I have received the social benefits that come with being productive. "Work" is a tie that binds.

My children walking someone else's dog - not because they wanted money but because they wanted to help out...and they really love this dog. :P

The weird thing is that for some reason there is a predominant view that "work" is something that we should try to lessen. The less work we have then the happier we should be. Is that really true?

I don't know about you, but when I don't work...then I feel:

a) overwhelmed - because I am unorganised and it takes me longer to get ready for the day because everything is all over the place,

b) socially inept - because I inevitably arrive at social gatherings unprepared or with the wrong things

c) lethargic - because for some reason, the less I do, the more tired I am and therefore find it harder to even start working.

d) unproductive - because...well, hardly anything is getting done.

On the other hand, when I work, I get the satisfaction of seeing the results of my work and the self-confidence that comes with knowing I have done a good job. I am active and have more energy. And best of all, my world opens up as I connect with people who are very different from me and through those connections, I know that I have many sources of support.

Now some of you may have noticed a benefit of work that I have not mentioned - money. That's because to me money is only a secondary outcome of work. See, I love my work. So I pay attention to it. I spend time learning all the different ways to do it and take care to get it done right and well.

And because I want to learn about it and take care of it, then at my paid work this approach has resulted in an increased income in the form of promotions and bonuses. At my unpaid work at home and to my community, it has meant increased savings because I have been able to make things or fix things, and swap or receive things from others.

But while I enjoy the security that comes with an increased income and increased savings, I know that it has come about because I have loved work in the first place and appreciate the joy it can bring into my life.

And so to me, the best thing I can pass on to my kids is a love for work itself. Because if they love work, then they will always reap the personal and social benefits and with that will be the increased income and savings that work can bring.

What about you? Do you have work that you love?

"Manly" :P

2011-03-19T09:57:00.006+11:00

Hello everyone!

Well, here I am still sporadically blogging...just when you think I've stopped, I pop up again! hehe. As you can see, I FINALLY have changed my blog template for 2011!

A quick update on what's been happening (mostly for my relatives, so feel free to skip this paragraph). I've been super busy at work, with two major projects nearing major deadlines. It was stressing me out trying to cope with the workload 4 days a week, so I decided to temporarily start working full-time until the deadlines have been met. My children too are now becoming more and more interested in doing more activities (they had previously chosen, with my encouragement, to just do 1 extra-curricular activity) and so I have now agreed for them to do 2 activities each. They are now doing Sea Scouts, which they absolutely love. So now I am trying to balance their need for "down time" and their need to have peer groups outside of their school group.

In terms of budgeting and saving (and now more related to this blog), I have now saved enough to start kitchen renovations at my new house! Even though the work has not yet started, I have to say I'm very proud that I didn't have to go to the bank to borrow the money (though at times, its been tempting!). I hope I can continue to save (its been 2 years now of automatically putting in at least 10% of my pay into savings and then at the end of my pay period, automatically putting the rest into savings.)

Speaking of renovations, one of the things I have been slowly learning to do are the "manly" things around the house - you know, things like putting up shelves, changing tap washers etc. Its funny, I realised today that my anxiety over doing things like that pretty much stem from the same sort of thinking I used to have over sewing and crafty things. Back then, I had thought I couldn't learn those sorts of things because I wasn't creative. Now, I thought I can't learn manly things because....well I'm a woman - not a man.

Photo by Vince Connare

You know I never realised that a modern woman like me could harbour such "old fashioned" ideas... but I do wonder how many women also subconsciously think the same thing?

One of the challenges of becoming a sole parent, has been trying to make my money stretch a bit further. While my simple life has gone a long way in helping me with this, inevitably, the task of doing manly things can help save a bit further. At first, this meant learning how to operate a lawn mower (yep, I didn't know how to do this!) or hang a heavy picture on a wall (nope didn't know a thing about struts or whatever you call those blocks of wood behind the gyprock wall. lol!) But slowly, slowly I learnt - mostly because I didn't want to have to hire a handyman for every little manly thing that needed doing around the house.

Shelf I put up in my daughter's room (with the help of a friend who told me about those screw/nail thingies that expand behind the wall and the help of the hardware store man, who told me how to use liquid nails properly....and no, liquid nails are not a good replacement for actual nails. :P)

Then slowly I realised that it didn't have to stop at "little manly things", I could (just maybe) learn how to do bigger things around the house. And so I have. Since then, my list of "big manly things" (lol) has been replacing a wardrobe door, installing my dishwasher and fixing my leaking fridge. I thought about taking photos of my finished work, but I've realised that unlike crafty things, taking photos of doors and appliances aren't really very exciting. :)

So how did I fix those things? Basically I learned in the same way as I learned to sew - by asking people (strangely enough, mostly men) to help me, by reading it on the web and watching it being done in You Tube. I'm still not quite there - and I have to admit, I am still a bit anxious over doing these things, but just like sewing, the more I do, the more willing I am to try and do a bit more.

And hell, if it fails then I can always try to fix it...and if I fail again, then I *could* pick up a phone and call a handyman!

Next project will be to replace my kitchen sink and tap - but as I have ordered a new benchtop for my kitchen, that can wait until the benchtop is ready to be put in. (Which gives me plenty of time to talk to people and watch it being done on the web...because I'm sure someone out there has already thought of filming how to put a kitchen sink in! hehe)

What about you? Do you do "manly" things around the house?

Photos of my neighbourhood

2011-02-25T20:21:00.009+11:00

Hello everyone,

Anyway, I know its been a while. For some reason, the year of the Rabbit has not been a calm start for me - more like a mad hatter's party :). Nothing bad. Just busy with so many other things.

This is one of the things that have been keeping me busy. I am playing around now with the Retro Camera and the Vignette camera apps on my phone (for those interested, its a HTC Desire Android). Its yet another creative outlet for me while I sort out my space for crafting and sewing. The great thing about this is that it also fits in with my need to be physically active as it gets me running around my new neighbourhood.

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of the photos.

As you can see from this pic, we are still getting a steady amount of rain here at the ONC*. I have to say, after 7 years of virtually no rain, I am loving it and you can see why! My city is more and more looking like the city I remember from my childhood.

Not bad for phone pics huh!!

I do have other posts sitting as drafts but they're at the "incoherent" stage - I hope I'll be able to sort them out soon!

I hope you are well.

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

(P.S. I would like to wish those in Christchurch and those in Libya much strength over the coming days.)

My feel good list...

2011-02-09T22:51:00.009+11:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you are all well. A couple of days ago, I attended the launch of Sharing Young Women's Stories - a campaign run by Equality Rights Alliance to fight negative body image. It was a great night and I felt very privileged that I was able to talk to many inspiring people doing good work.

Postcards being handed out at the launch. Photo by GR from Equality Rights Alliance and published here with her permission.

One of the people at the launch, Carly Jacobs, gave a particularly great speech. She talked about her "feel good diet". After years of dieting, calorie counting and unhealthy obsession over her body type, Carly finally hit upon a feel good diet. She started to eat what made her feel good. This doesn't mean binging on junk food (that often made her feel sick, not good), it also didn't mean she starved herself. Rather she ate what made her feel healthy and energetic.

The last couple of days, I've been reflecting on what Carly said and I realised that her philosophy can be applied to so many more areas of my life - my health, my consumption of goods and also my ongoing simplification of my life.

So here is my top 20"feel good list":

1. I feel good when I hang out with my kids, my family and my friends

2. I feel good when I am outdoors, riding my bike or paddling on the lake

3. I feel good when I am at taekwondo

4. I feel good when I eat home cooked meals

5. I feel good when I eat out at a really nice restaurant

6. I feel good when I have a clean house

7. I feel good when I declutter

8. I feel good when I do a good job at work

9. I feel good when I get a good night's rest

10. I feel good when I get a letter, an email, or a comment from others

11. I feel good when I make the time to just enjoy the view from my house

12. I feel good when I help others

13. I feel good when others help me

14. I feel good when I iron (yes I know its weird but I really do enjoy it)

15. I feel good when I make the effort to look nice

16. I feel good when I play the piano and when I sing

17. I feel good when I am painting, crafting or sewing

18. I feel good when I massage other people (I think this is related to my thing with ironing - smoothing out knots and all that hehe)

19. I feel good when I read a good book, blog post or article

20. I feel good when I achieve my savings goals

The times when I have felt overwhelmed and anxious is when I do the opposite to the list above - when I don't take time out to be physically active and enjoy the space around me. When I've been frivolous and ended up with a leaner bank balance and with too much stuff that I barely use and don't really need.

Now looking over that list, I realise that basically I feel good when I respect myself and the space around me, when I connect with others and when I act in accordance to my values.

What about you? What's your top 20 feel good list?

2011 - my year for...

2011-01-23T08:57:00.006+11:00

Hi everyone!

A belated Happy New Year to you all! For those who emailed me during the Christmas/New Year period, a big thank you. I am safe and quite far away from the floods that have devastated the north east and now the south east of Australia. For all the people who have been affected, my thoughts are with you and I hope you are safe.

My bloggy break had very little to do with the floods but more to do with the fact that I have been sooo busy! Long time readers will know that I usually change the look of my blog for the New Year...unfortunately there's really been no time for that. I have been busy with the final touches for my new home, planning future renovations, getting to know my neighbours and generally just enjoying the HUGE amount of activities my new location has to offer. I am loving where I am.

The only problem is that I still haven't solved my lack of sewing/crafting space. I have gone to a home about 2/3rds the size of my previous house. And I am really missing that extra space. Its something I hope to resolve in the first half of this year.

Despite lack of space, I did manage to paint this for my living room. Acrylic, oil and enamel. Big thank you to Jess for helping me with this.

Speaking of this year, many of you know that I usually try to have a "word" for the year (since I don't do resolutions). Last year my word was "celebrate" - and boy, did I do that! 2010 for me was all about consciously celebrating with my family and friends after the sadness of 2008/2009. And as with most celebrations, I have come out of 2010 feeling grateful for having such wonderful people in my life...though (and again, like most celebrations) I am also slightly tired after such a hectic year.

So this year, I have chosen "dream". 2010 for me was very much action-based, grounded on the practical and the next steps. Now, I want to make time to those quiet moments where I let myself sift through my hopes and dreams. To work out what to let go and discover what I want for the future.

So what about you? Do you have a word for the year?

I hope you are all well.

Who wants to have everything??

2010-12-29T20:12:00.003+11:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you have all had a lovely Christmas. I had a wonderful day with my family and also getting to know my new neighbours. After all the rain, it was wonderful to wake up to a beautiful and cool summer's day.

One of the things that I was very sad to leave in my old neighbourhood were my neighbours. It was in that neighbourhood that I finally understood what it meant to belong to a supportive community of unlike-minded people. (Link takes you to my post in the other blog I write in.)

Anyway, now that I'm slowly settling in to my new neighbourhood, I have been pleasantly surprised at how nice everyone has been. In part, I know that I have gotten to know them because...well, 'cause I don't have a lot of things.

Some time ago, I wrote this in my post about asking for help:

Being "highly independent" is valued in our culture. But I realised that being highly independent is actually a myth. There's no such thing. Instead what happens is that the dependency is transferred from being dependent on other people to being dependent on gadgets, appliances and all the various things that create the illusion that one is highly independent (often marketed as making your life easier - another myth, in my opinion)

One of the things I've realised is that when you don't have that much stuff, then connecting with others becomes essential. Now that I am in a new neighbourhood, I am slowly starting to connect with my neighbours - not only in a social sense, but also in a work sense. Already my new neighbours have let me borrow their tools and given me great advice.

Today, a neighbour helped me get rid of a large overgrown climbing plant that was wrecking both of our fences. I didn't have the tools nor the muscle to get rid of it and he did. I helped by providing back-up muscle, clean-up and refreshments.

Remnants of the monster climber (thank goodness its gone)

And as I relax now into my evening, I am once again struck by how lucky I am to be surrounded by such kind and generous people...somehow this seems especially fitting given this time of year.

I wish you all peace and good will for the season.

I am in the new house! (and reflections on stuff)

2010-12-18T21:50:00.006+11:00

Hi everyone!

Well, its certainly been a hectic few days here for me...and I have to say, I am still tired and not quite fully recovered.

The move didn't go at all well... I arrived to a filthy house and made the fatal mistake of accepting it. I have since realised that it was my right to refuse the house in the state it was left in and the right thing to do would've been to call a lawyer.

...so rather than concentrating on unpacking and doing a light clean, I spent a lot of my time doing some heavy duty cleaning from 6am till 2-3am for the first 3 days and then unpacking from there.

Ah well - that's all behind me now. My house is now clean and the inside is unpacked and organised. (Just the garage to unpack and organise!)

...yep - after only 1 week, I have pretty much settled in. While I normally don't blow my own trumpet, I will admit in this instance to being a legend on getting all this done before Christmas. (insert tired and slightly delirious smilie here - hehe).

My living room in my new house

Someone once told me that moving house is right up there on the list of major stresses in life. And having done it recently, I think one of the causes of this stress is that its one of the few times in life when our stuff-overload blindness (SOB) is ripped off and we see how much stuff we actually have. To save you from clicking on the link, SOB is basically my ramblings on how we use stuff to project our identity but we don't actually see how much stuff we (or others) have.

In my experience, SOB has often left me a bit uneasy - but that uneasiness is nothing compared to what happens when that blindness lifts and we actually see how much stuff we have. (The feeling when this happens can best be described as "AAAAUUUUUGGGH!!")

Now, regular readers here will know that I had reached a point in my life when I was happy with the amount of stuff I had. I had decluttered a lot and I enjoyed the ease that comes with not having to look after so much stuff.

Having said that, in preparing for this move, I was still very surprised at how much stuff I had accumulated in the two years since I started my new life as a sole parent. So much so that I ended up having to declutter again. The declutter consisted of:

1 commercial van load of stuff given away
1 commercial van load of stuff I sold
2 full car loads of stuff sent to the op shop (charity shop)

Those who have been to my old place (you can see my old place starting from this post) have often commented on how uncluttered my house is. Despite that, I *still* found - if not exactly clutter - then excess stuff I don't/barely use.

Its kinda scary really.

So here I am now relaxing in my new (and smaller) house. I am, for now, excess-stuff free. But in the back of my mind, I am wondering....how long will it be before I am once again afflicted with my form of SOB and end up with excess stuff?

I hope you are all well!

Here comes the rain again....

2010-12-08T23:14:00.004+11:00

Falling on my head like a memory

Falling on my head like a new emotion...

Hello everyone,

I am writing this blog post in my old home. It's my last night. My things are packed and I'm surrounded by boxes.

...and its raining. Those who live in southeastern Australia would know how much rain we've had over the last few weeks. There are many towns currently in flood. And this is amazing to me.

Long term readers of this blog may remember how, from time to time, I would comment about how dry the ONC has been for years and years...or how my daughter was 2 years old before she actually saw rain.

Over the last few years, the water situation here had gotten to the point where the ONC Government started putting up water usage signs at the side of major roads telling us how full (or not full) our dams were, how much we used yesterday and what the water usage target should be.

Water usage sign on Adelaide Avenue. Photo by NathanaelB

Today, I drove past the sign and noticed that for the first time in years (more than a decade, according to local news reports), our dams are 100% full. And the water usage target was no longer flashing up.

This feels weird to me. I acknowledge the destruction these rains are causing surrounding regions. But...at the same time, I can't help but regard these rains with awe and pleasure. These rains are bringing back the green landscape that I remember from my childhood.

And as I sit here in my packed up house, I can't help but feel that the rain is an apt environment for me to sift through old memories, say good bye to old dreams and start a new life.

I hope you are all enjoying a good week. Wish me some sunshine for tomorrow. :)

I want to walk in the open wind

I want to talk like lovers do

I want to dive into your ocean

Is it raining with you

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

Weird how the universe provides...

2010-11-30T20:15:00.003+11:00

Hi everyone!

Well, since my last post nothing much has changed for me - still busy as ever - still packing, still working flat out, still trying to juggle every thing.

Having said that, one of my stresses has been trying to save up for this move. While the goal is more than do-able, I would be lying if I said it hasn't been stressful. When I'm stressed and busy like this, I'm afraid one of my failings is buying food instead of cooking it. And I have to say, with so many great restaurants within walking distance from me, its very tempting (and easy) to buy my dinner.

I am afraid to say, I bought dinner a few too many times and ended up being $200 short of my goal to save up $1,000 for this move.

...but I must be doing something right because a funny thing happened. I had emailed my real estate agent asking him to ask the new owners of my house if it was okay if I left some things behind for them - nothing big really - just some bits and pieces that are suitable only for the type of house I'm currently in.

I get a phone call the next day and my real estate agent tells me that the new owners would love the things I'm offering and they would like to pay me $200 for it! So there you go - I've achieved my goal of having an extra $1,000 for my move so I wouldn't need to touch my nest egg.

Weird how those things happen, huh. I'm so lucky. Have things like this happened to you? Would love to hear about it! (Besides I'd love a distraction from the packing and cleaning! hehe)

This is hard...(but let's not talk about that)

2010-11-23T21:43:00.006+11:00

Hi everyone,

Well, I logged in here tonight with the full intention of having a bit of a whinge. Moving + trying to save + working flat out + sole parenting = bloody HARD.

Ah well. But you know, as I started to type out my whinge (yes, I would've written a hell of a lot more than the above), I realised that whingeing is not really going to get anything done (and I have so much to get done!). And to be honest, I'm the type who doesn't feel better when I whinge (I wish I did). Instead, I find that when I whinge, I just feel like whingeing even more.

So I thought I'd concentrate on a couple of little things that made me smile in the last week:

1. I've packed up my kitchen AND found a block of chocolate that I'd forgotten about at the back of my pantry (and not even past its "best before" date!).

2. I found $10 inside one of my winter jackets.

3. We've had GORGEOUS days and rainy nights. In fact, here at the ONC, its still green! I can't remember the last time its looked so green at this time of the year. The dams are currently at 98% capacity....and again, I can't remember the last time this has happened. I've lived with "drought" for so long that seeing so much green (that's natural) always lifts my spirits. (I really should take a pic).

4. I spent a fantastic day at the beach with my children. The coast carries some pretty conflicting memories for me. Spending the day there swimming and hanging out with good friends was not only a well-needed rest from the packing but also very healing. I will probably take the children back to the coast in a few weeks time when I finally do move.

My children at the south coast. Is it just me, or aren't Aussie beaches beautiful?

Anyway, just writing the above has put a smile on my face so I'm off to pack one more box before I head off to bed.

I wish you all a good week ahead.

Redefining the boundaries of my nest egg

2010-11-17T21:46:00.007+11:00

Photo by Mpop

Hello everyone!

Well, here I am continuing my count down for my move. So far, I haven't had the need to withdraw the extra $500 I've put away in savings (on top of my normal nest egg savings) so I figure I'm doing okay. I've also got my menu plan which pretty much consisted of eating from my pantry (my groceries for this fortnight was only $56!) . So far so good but I reckon its going to get tough soon when I get down to those odd ingredients - no doubt I'll be asking for your cooking help soon.

Anyway, as I continue my packing and cleaning, I have been pondering on why I am so tempted lately to just buy, buy, buy. I mean its not the first time I've had to do this. Indeed, it was only early last year that I had to furnish my entire house from scratch (and I did it for under $1,000). And then I realised why. Back then, I was on a lower wage and not 100% confident of my capacity to save. While my frugal living meant that I was doing very well in comparison to those in similar situations, the reality was that many many things were out of my financial reach anyway.... And while I had always tried to save and live frugally, the reality was that I just come out of a marriage where there was always another income that *could* act as as a "safety net" if I blew my budget. So while I saved and lived frugally, there was always a little doubting voice inside me about my true abilities to commit to it. In some ways, this spurred me on to be even more careful about my spendings....

Now a year and a bit later, I am now on a higher wage....and where before I did have little doubts about my abilities on the financial front, I am now much more confident...and sometimes I think that I may be getting over-confident. I also now have a nice nest egg.

I see items (that I don't need but think I want) and I think "of course I'll be able to use some of my nest egg for that and I'll just save up for it later and build my nest egg back up."

Can anyone see the fallacy of my thinking???

Yep, I've started to think of my nest egg as CREDIT. That I can use it for any purchase because I have the (misplaced) confidence that I can build it back up.

If I take away the phrase "nest egg" and replace with the word "credit card" - you can perhaps relate to my misplaced thinking??

...and I had NEVER intended for my nest egg to be used as a credit card. (Actually, you can say that perhaps credit cards shouldn't be used in the way many people use credit cards either....)

Photo by vipez

When I started my nest egg I had publically defined it in this blog. However, here is my revised and updated version as of today. My nest egg should only be used for:
1. emergencies (50%);
2. to increase my net equity (eg buy investments) (30%)
2. to visit my extended family overseas every 2 years (10%); and
3. to pay for a more sustainable life (10%).

So things like removalists, a new laptop, a new couch or a digital camera should be saved for on top of my regular nest egg fortnightly savings.

....*sigh*.....

Ok, I think I've now forcibly reminded myself over what I should be using my nest egg for and I've finally stopped ignoring that little voice inside me that's been saying "now is NOT the time to be careless".

Ah well. I hope you are all having a good week.

Selling...

2010-11-13T21:11:00.006+11:00

Hey everyone!

Thank you all for your great suggestions in my last post. So as per my goal, when I received my pay this fortnight, I immediately transferred $500 into savings. Which means...that eek! I don't have a lot of cash at the moment.

And you guys are right, selling off stuff has a twofold effect - 1) it will bump up my cash situation and 2) it will mean less stuff to move and therefore smaller length of time removalists have to be here moving my stuff. As the removalists that I've hired (from what I gather its a good quote) work on an hourly rate (with a minimum of 2 hours), less stuff will also mean cheaper removalists.

So for now, here are the items that I'm selling (all prices are negotiable)- preferences will go towards those living in the ONC*:

VINTAGE ENAMEL POTS (THE REAL DEAL) AND TIN FLOUR SIFTER - $20 for the lot

OVEN PROOF, MICROWAVE PROOF CERAMIC CASSEROLE DISHES - $5 (FOR BOTH)

MY CRAFT TABLE (sob - but I really don't have room for it in my new place) 180cm x 90 cm - $10

Wooden Towel Rack - $5 - taken pending pickup

2 x Size 5 fully lined Winter jackets (note they're large size 5s) - $5 (for both) - sold

You can always contact me via my email address: consumption dot rebellion at gmail dot com if you want to look at the items close up!

I probably will have more for sale as I go through the packing process (almost finished the kitchen!) so feel free to contact me and ask me for stuff!

I hope you are all having a good weekend.

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

Saving....

2010-11-10T12:08:00.004+11:00

Hi all!

Thank you all so much for welcoming me back to blogland. Its been wonderful to read your comments in the last post. For me, the exercise was very much re-discovering a past pleasure.

Anyway, Tara is my inspiration for this blog post. She is about to embark on a No-Spend-Week on 23 to 30 November and asked me to join her (feel free to join her though by going to her blog and commenting!). Unfortunately, that week for me includes two major family events so I won't be joining her. However, her sharing of her plans has made me focus on my current financial situation.

Old readers here know that building a nest egg is very important to me. Having achieved my goal of going overseas to visit my family, close to 30% of my nest egg is gone. I don't mind that all - its what I was using my nest egg for. I am grateful for being able to go overseas without having to go into debt.

However, with my moving happening in just under a month, I am now faced with several decisions on how to make that move happen. I was very tempted to try and do it myself. And while I know I can do it, the stress of doing that (as well as trying to solve the problem of how to move large furniture by myself) was just too much. Due to many reasons (tied with banks and settlement dates), I would also have to move mid-week. This means that requesting friends' assistance would be a bit onerous, as most of my friends work.

So I've decided to hire a moving company. Now this is an expensive exercise in itself and I was originally thinking of using my nest egg for it....BUT...well, my life is pretty boring at the moment (:P). So rather than using my nest egg, I thought I'd try and ramp up my savings for this move.

So my savings goal is to save $1,000. I know I won't use it all for the moving company, BUT no doubt there will be little things along the way that will crop up associated with the move.

At this stage, I don't actually have any concrete plans to achieve these savings but as I've said before, 90% of budgeting is coming up with AND committing to a goal. So in the spirit of holding myself accountable, I've announced it publicly - I *will* save $1,000 in 4 weeks.

......

......

....so.... anyone have any ideas on how to make it happen for me? :P

For now, I'm off to re-read my previous posts:

Do no-spend weeks really save money? and Falling of the mindful consumption wagon to remind myself of what I have to do.

I hope you are all having a good week.

The line....(and an update)

2010-11-07T10:21:00.006+11:00

Hello all!

My, it has been a loooong time! Thank you to all the people who have not forgotten me and took the time to email or contact me to ask how I am.

Well, its been a very very busy few months here. Since I last posted, I settled property matters as part of my divorce (the final and last part of that process - yay!). I went overseas to New Zealand (for quality family time with my 2 children) and also to the USA (to spend time with my extended family). I have also sold my house here and bought a new one! And in between all that, I worked and continued my journey in learning how to be a sole income earner and parent. Looking back, its amazing how much has actually happened!

So here I am now planning and preparing my move to a smaller house and starting a new chapter in my life. I am really excited by it all.

However, in planning and preparing for my move, I am suddenly being confronted (once again) by temptations to take the easy way out.

I am finding myself walking that very fine line between compromise and carelessness. With each compromise, I seem to come closer to crossing the line I had previously drawn in order to live according to my values.

With my move, I have had to cut back on some of the sustainable things I am doing. I have stopped composting because I want to take my compost bin with me and so I need what's in there to completely break down in the next few weeks so I can spread it in the garden and lift the bin out to my new place. That means I can not add any more things in there. This has, in effect, doubled my waste.

In going to a smaller house, I also find myself needing to get rid of some things that I have no space for. ....and with all the things happening in my life at the moment, I am often tempted to just throw things out rather than make the effort to sell or giveaway.

And in starting a new life, I am also wanting to redefine me (yet again). And suddenly I am seeing catalogues of new things being sold very cheaply....and I am finding myself wanting to not think too deeply about why they are sold so cheaply.

So far, I haven't yet crossed the line (I hope so anyway). At the moment, I am still mostly sourcing second-hand or fairtrade. But yes, the temptations are there and I'm finding that what was once a clear line is becoming blurred for me.

A drawing I made of me and my kids, using a single continuous line.
(I've packed up my sewing and craft gear in readiness for my move but have taken up drawing as my creative outlet for now....and yes, I did end up buying new pencils and a sketch pad)

So in an effort to keep myself accountable and to redefine the lines I have drawn previously to rein in my consumption, I have decided to start blogging about my journey again. I hope over the coming weeks, I can fill this blog with posts that are more useful than angst. :P

In the meantime, what have you been doing since you last visited my blog? Please share and post links!

I hope you are all well.

Decluttering! So giving away the following...

2010-09-03T10:05:00.005+10:00

Hello all,

Spring is here and I am doing a massive spring clean! Lots on my to do list, but my first and foremost on the list is a huge declutter! So I have the following things to give away to ONC'ers:

Hi all,

Doing a massive declutter and would like to get rid of the following:

1. Fabric pieces - come into my craft room and help yourself to anything!
2. 1 old sewing machine. Working but I don't know how to thread it. Manuals are missing. It came as part of an auction lot and is unwanted as I already have a sewing machine.
3. Corner occassional table
4. Round occassional table
5. Sharp TV (not digital but could be good to play games on, or buy a set top box to make it digital)
6. Small retro student desk (the type with an inkwell and a shelf at the bottom) and matching chair
7. Small study desk

All items need to go by Thursday 9 September as that's when the Salvos are coming to my house to collect all unwanted items. Please email me to organise pick up. :)

I may add to this list later through new blog posts. :)

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

Last minute costumes

2010-08-20T22:08:00.005+10:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you have all had a good week. Yesterday, I went to pick up my children from school and I was reminded that today was dress-up day for Book Week. EEEK!!

For those overseas, Book Week is an annual event in many Australian schools where kids celebrate books and reading. As part of Book Week, the kids also dress up as their favourite book character for a day.

Anyway, with all of the busy-ness of my life at the moment, it had completely slipped my mind that it was Book Week and of course, had completely forgotten about dress up day. So there I was at 4pm with no real plans for their costumes today. My daughter wanted to be "Tiger Lily" (from Peter Pan) and my son wanted to be "Harry Potter".

I almost caved and bought some costumes for them. I also almost fell over in shock at the cost of their costumes ($30 for a Tiger Lily costume and $55 for a Harry Potter costume?!!). So in the end, I went home and made this:

Tiger Lily's clothes were made using a large costume given to us as a present last year. I altered the teen-sized shirt into a dress by laying one of her dresses on top and sewing in the sides and arms. Ribbon, feather and ribbon belt were from the craft pile (which meant that I would've gotten them from an op-shop):

Harry Potter's clothes were made using a black flat bed sheet, cut up and sewn into a cape (using these instructions). Underneath, he wore more black vest and his cream polo top. The tie was a strip I cut off from some striped fabric offcut. Wand was a chopstick. The only thing I bought were the fake glasses ($5).

The whole costume-making thing took me 30 mins to do.

Both kids were very happy with their costumes. I have to say, I think they looked quite good.

Did you make any costumes for Book Week? Care to share?

Sometimes, they move me so much...

2010-08-17T20:31:00.009+10:00

Hello everyone,

Tonight I'm sitting here feeling so proud and humbled by my children. Everyday, my children and I make it a point of talking about our day. I tell them about my day and they then tell me about theirs.

Anyway, today, I told them of a fundraiser happening at my work to help out a sick little girl called Olivia. Olivia has a rare form of cancer and need money to go overseas to get treatment.

As it happens, my children's school were also participating in a fundraiser to help out Olivia and her family.

As we talked about what's happening, my children started to ask questions about Olivia's sickness - what is cancer?, does it hurt?, if Olivia doesn't go to another country what can happen?

I answered their questions the best way I could. And when I answered their final question, I saw in their eyes shock as it registered for them that someone their age could die.

Miss 7 years old, at that moment, withdrew $10 (out of her $32) from her own pocket money savings to give to Olivia.

Mr 6 years old, after thinking about it, also took out $5 (out of his $27) from his own pocket money savings to give to Olivia.

Both understood that by giving money to someone else, they would both have to wait a little bit longer to achieve their goals...but they didn't care. As my daughter said "Waiting a bit longer won't make us die." And given what we were just talking about, I know that she is saying that in its most literal sense.

They then proceded to play and bicker between themselves as if they have done nothing out of the ordinary.

Their letters to Olivia

****************
If you want to know a bit more about Olivia's story, you can read about it here: http://olivialambert.com.au/.

Incidentally, my children are going well in learning how to manage their money (and I'm so proud of them that they understand that generosity is part of that management).

My daughter has now bought her second-hand DS (thank you Quixotic for selling her yours! She absolutely loves it and is so proud of telling everyone she's bought it herself). She is now saving up to take all of us out to the movies, complete with popcorn and icecreams (so about $60).

My son is now getting pocket money (I introduced it to him in the same way I introduced it to my daughter). He has decided to aim big right off the bat - he is now saving up for a second-hand DS.

********************

I wish you all well and hope you are having a good week.

Spending is harder than earning

2010-08-10T21:16:00.001+10:00

Hi all,

I've been reflecting over my efforts to rein in my consumption the last few weeks and I've realised something (or perhaps have just thought more in depth about something I already know)...

Knowing how to spend money wisely is hard work! I think its actually harder work than earning that money to begin with. Looking back, I've had an income for over 20 years. That income has steadily grown from casual wage to minimum wage to the level it is now....and when I look back, I have been "rich" and "poor" in those 20 years, regardless of my income level.

I have been "rich" when I had less debt and a very clear commitment to my goals. I was rich when I was still at school on a casual wage and I wanted to buy a TV, VCR and stereo. I was rich when I was on minimum wage and saving up for a deposit on a house.

I have been "poor" when I had too much debt and no idea what to spend my money on. I was poor when I finally earned higher than the national average income and I got two credit cards with high limits. I was poor when I was promoted to an "executive" and I got myself into debt in order to live up to what I thought was the lifestyle that was expected of me.

So for me, rich or poor didn't have anything to do with what I was earning but had everything to do with my commitment to spending wisely in order to achieve greater goals.

And I guess that's what's happened. Over the last few months, I had lost sight of those goals. So time for me to re-focus and bring them to mind.

What about you? Have you experienced "rich" and "poor"?

It's black....with a bit of white.

2010-08-06T19:10:00.006+10:00

Hey everyone!

Well, it looks like I've finally gotten back into sewing. My lovely friend Bec dropped by yesterday with some fabric goodies for me! (Aren't I lucky?) For new readers to this blog, Bec was instrumental in my learning how to sew (<--link takes you to the other blog I write in, Simple Green Frugal Co-op).

Bec, had culled her sewing pile and in her stash was a black dress she had pretty much finished (she insisted on giving it to me anyway). So for me it was a matter of just re-sizing it and then because she did all the hard work, this gave me the energy to add details I normally wouldn't have the energy to do. And here's the finished product:

I stuffed up the neckline so I ended up fixing it by cutting the deep part of the boat neck and turning it more into a v-neck. Then covering up the stitches by making a little rosette out of the same ribbon (also op-shopped) I used for the hem and neckline.

I like it. Thank you so much Bec for doing the hard parts of the dress!!

My daughter though thinks the dress is "too young" for me. She thinks it should be longer and my arms covered up....what do you think?

I hope to make a few more things over the next few days. Please wish me luck (and time) so I don't lose the sewing bug!!

I see red...:P

2010-08-05T12:53:00.009+10:00

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for all your encouragement in my last post (almost 3 weeks ago!). The last 3 weeks, I have managed to squeeze in some sewing. Mostly repairing things for friends and finally finishing one re-sizing job for a good friend (if you're reading this S - yep, I finished your jacket!). Anyway, funny thing about doing sewing is that even though I didn't start out to do stuff for myself (or stuff from scratch), I always end up with stuff for me anyway. (Is it just me? or does this happen to everybody else.) So I thought I'd show some of it:

Sometime ago, I made a crazy quilt patchwork cushion for my son. Now I made one for my daughter:

To be honest, I'm not too sure about how this has turned out...but my daughter loves it so I guess that's the important thing.

Long-term readers here will also remember the time when I said I wanted some new things. It seems that fate stepped in and my old phone finally died. As I don't have a landline (yep, I'm one those people), a mobile is pretty essential for me.Anyway, in the end I didn't go out and buy an IPhone and went for a HTC Desire instead. AND I LOVE IT.

I did manage to stop myself from buying accessories though. Instead, I decided to make a case for it:

As usual, all of the above sewing projects used second-hand sourced materials and thread.

Oh and before I forget, a lot of you asked where I was selling my low priced items - I have been selling them at work. Its free and easy to bring my little things there to hand over to people.

Anyway, this post has gone on longer than I meant it to. I hope you are all well!

Update: spending-only-$50-from-my-pay budget

2010-07-19T21:33:00.005+10:00

Hello everyone!

Well, its almost the end of my pay fortnight (21 July was my deadline) and I'm afraid to say I haven't quite made it.

So the whole thing about this little challenge of mine was to put the brakes on my mindless consumption. As many of you know, I'm going through a pretty tough time. Despite everything I have learned over the last few years, I have reverted to trying to buy normality rather than accepting that my life at the moment, is not normal. The lure of buying "what I wish my life to be" - even if it only gave me that illusion for a few hours - is hard to resist!

While I didn't make it, my challenge did put a stop to my mindless consumption and I managed to get rid of some stuff! So here's a little list of my spending:

$75 - social/entertainment spending - eeek! Though $50 was in one night when I went out with friends. It was a case of me needing to blow-off some steam after a hell week...and yes, buy normality for a few hours.

$35 - petrol. The weather got too cold and too rainy for me to ride my bike to work. Still, I normally spend $50 in petrol a fortnight so a $15 saving is pretty good. I did walk/ride my bike for short trips to the shops rather than drive.

$25 - takeaway food (yes after that one slip-up, I didn't buy anymore takeaway meals).

So total expenditure $135.

Now what I did to top up my "income":
- sold: coffee percolator = $10
- sold: my vinyl record bowls = $15
- sold: a not-being-used hot curler set = $5
- scrounged change: $18.60 (yes I found more change when I cleaned out my car and spare room)

Add my $50 budget, my total incoming was $98.60.

So there you go, I ended up spending an extra $36.40 from my pay than I meant to.... Which is not too bad. Strangely enough it's not the social/entertainment spending that worries me. Connecting with others socially and easily was exactly what I needed to do. I'm learningthat buying normality doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing - all things in moderation is okay.

The other thing is that, now I am once again in a comfortable position to pay the big bills that have come in AND still have money left over for savings. I haven't added to my savings for quite a long while so it feels nice to get back on track.

Photo by Alan Cleaver

I think this weekend, I will go through my house and identify more stuff to sell/get rid off. I know I have a study table and some chairs that can go.

ooooh, there you go, a declutter challenge! Anyone want to join me?

Spending...

2010-07-11T16:20:00.001+10:00

Hello everyone,

I hope you have all had a good weekend. Just starting off with a little update with my spending-only-$50-from-my-pay budget....Since Thursday, I have spent:

$11 - social/entertainment spending
$10 - petrol
$25 - takeaway food (yes, I know I know but I had one of THOSE days on Friday)

Eeek! yes, I have already spent $46 of my $50 limit. Now, I am adding to my spending limit (that's not from my pay). That is:

I have scrounged for change around the house = $9.40
I decided to sell my coffee percolator (which I wasn't really using 'cause I like the plunger) = $10

Add that to my previous $4 and I can report that I have $23.40 back to my spending...

My $23.40 ;-)

...Yes I know I'm cheating....then again, creatively generating money from other sources (aside from my job) is one of those skills I have not used for awhile so in some way this is still part of the plan to kickstart me back into simple living habits.

I am hoping that I can curb my spending though. I am trying to get back to being organised. The takeaway food (which accounts for a significant chunk of my self-imposed limit of using only $50 of my pay for things that are NOT bills) was the result of me losing my focus. Something that I know will probably happen over the next month or so until I can finally resolve my personal situation.

I did get a question in my previous post as to how long my fortnight actually is. Just to clarify, the period of this challenge is Thursday, 8 July to Wednesday, 21 July.

Anyway, I have better go. I am cooking 3 nights worth of dinner so I don't succumb to takeaway again.

I hope you are all well.

That's not a tough budget...THIS is a tough budget

2010-07-08T08:30:00.000+10:00

Hello everyone!

The last month or so, I've been watching the news and listening to many countries all over the world announcing "tough" budgets in an effort to rein in record-high debts.

...and in the last month or so, I'm afraid my mindless consumption has...while not exactly placed me in debt, it has certainly eaten a significant chunk of my nest egg. For the first time in almost 2 years, I am finding that after bills, I don't have any left over for savings....all of it has gone into spendings.

Photo by Stuart Pilbrow

Today is my pay day. As usual 65% of my pay will go towards bills (eg. mortgage, electricity, rates, car rego etc). As for the rest....I have allocated a total of $50 for spendings. Yep - that's right. For the next fortnight, I will only have $50 to cover any food, petrol and entertainment.

I have already gone through my pantry/fridge/freezer and made a menu plan that will cover me and my family for the next fortnight (so no real need to buy food). This will also have the effect of using up all my excess food (accumulated by mindless consumption).

I have packed my coffee percolator and coffee for work so no real need to buy my coffee. Having said that, I have promised to have coffee with a few people during work but this will come out of my $50 spending.

I know that I'll also need petrol (which in itself is normally $50 for the fortnight) but next week, I will be able to ride my bike to work a few times. (I just hope that I'll be able to brave the cold).

And hopefully, this tough mini budget will once again kick me back on to my previous savings habits. Please send me no-buget-blowout vibes!!

I hope you are all well.

Wearing second-hand...do you tell?

2010-07-06T22:00:00.001+10:00

Hello everyone!

Firstly a big big thank you to all of you who commented in my last post. Your words truly encouraged and moved me. You are all so generous. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.

Now that I'm back to finding and defining my path towards a simpler life, I am taking stock of things that I *didn't* let go of in the last couple of months. I realised that there was at least one sustainable consumption habit that I stuck to. I still sought to buy second-hand clothing for myself.

I only remember this after reading this post from Little Eco Footprints. In this post, Tricia asks: "Are you proud to wear second-hand or hand-made?"

And I can say that for the most part, yes, I am. In fact, when I am asked by others where I got my coat/outfit/shoes etc etc, I am honest and say "the op shop" or "bought it second-hand". (For overseas readers, op shops are thrift/charity shops).

Pic of me at work wearing a second-hand 3 piece suit (only $60!!) and op-shopped grey shoes ($5)

I have to say, there are times when my answer is met with an uncomfortable pause as people process the fact that I've just admitted to wearing second-hand.

The thing is, after that pause, its often followed by enthusiastic re-telling of their op-shop bargains or second-hand finds. In some ways this heartens me - because while not that many people tell you about it, my experience is that a LOT of people (and yes, even professional people from middle class backgrounds) do buy from op shops. Perhaps not as regularly as I do, but they still do.

Unfortunately, in my world, hardly anyone talks about it. Tricia says, in the past, wearing second-hand was something to be ashamed of. I believe that there is still that train of thought today.

I guess, by telling people honestly where I get my clothes (if they ask), I am trying to "out" a great sustainable practice that many people seem to do in secrecy. Indeed, at work, there are some of us now who openly op-shop together during our lunch hour every now and then. And the more open we are about our ethical shopping, the more open others (who have never op-shopped) are to the idea of op-shopping.

So tell me, do YOU op-shop? Do you have a favourite op-shopping story? Have you ever blogged about it? Please let me know!

I hope you are all having a good week.

Busy life - fell off the wagon...

2010-07-02T15:28:00.004+10:00

Hello everyone!

Wow, its been a long long time. Firstly a big thank you to those of you who emailed me while I had my unexpected bloggy break. Thank you so much for thinking of me.

My life has taken a few odd turns lately and I'm finding myself busier than ever trying to adjust to these curve balls as well as my ongoing battle with finding a balance between family and work. The last few months I have really been feeling all the challenges of managing my life and nurturing my family all by myself!

With my life being so busy, I have to admit that I have completely fallen off my simple life. I have resorted to buying too many convenience meals, buying things and presents (instead of making them), and resorted to impulse purchases to make myself feel better. I even recently bought a TV!

Okay, I'm not sure why I bought a TV given that I rarely watch the thing - I suspect that I just wanted a semblance of "normal". ...but the fact that I'm not sure why I bought it has been a huge wake up call for me. In these stressful times, I have once again become a mindless consumer. I have opted for the quick highs and quick fixes rather than the quiet satisfaction of living according to my ideals.

Its been disheartening...especially as I know so much better. And once again, I'm feeling lost.

In some ways,I can see how its happened. I can see how much time I am expending at working through my divorce and how much time I am giving to my work. And this is giving me little time for the necessary planning it takes to live a simple life. I am responsible for how I choose to prioritise my time. At this stage, my need to resolve my past and my need to take the distraction and career fulfillment being offered to me by my work is top priority.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), I can see that focussing on these things is also leading me away from a life that satisfied me.

So its time to pull back the reins. Or at least re-adjust them. I'm SURE there is a way to do what I have to do but not lose sight of my simple life. And as always, I know that the first step is to take that huge mental re-adjustment. To stop making excuses and instead find sustainable solutions to the challenges that are before me.

So here's to me climbing back on the wagon. Over the next few weeks, I know I will need to make compromises. However, I also know that I need to stop seeking to buy normality and just accept that these are not normal times.

My son has recently discovered Michael Jackson...the last 3 days he has been playing this song over and over again...and thank goodness I finally heard it.

I hope you are all well. If you can spare the time please send me your well wishes, I know I'm going to need it.

Pocket money journey - an update

2010-05-28T19:59:00.005+10:00

Hello everyone,

Its been some time since I've talked about pocket money and my children so I thought I'd give a bit of an update.

My son (at almost 6 years old) is showing signs of becoming interested in money now. Like my daughter, I have told him that when he can recognise the dollar values of the money, add and subtract 1s,5s and 10s, then he can get pocket money. I have also added an extra requirement - that he understands how to store his money safely! My daughter was always very careful about putting things (including money) she valued away in a safe place. My son is a little bit more absent minded with his things - he always seems to be leaving things behind or forgetting where he put things. He has been given money in the past (by his grandparents) but unfortunately he often forgets where he's put this money (I'm sure we will come across a treasure trove of coins one day). So once he's learned how to store his money safely, he will also get pocket money soon.

My daughter is continuing learning about savings, delaying instant gratification, and finding alternatives. Her current goal is to buy a DS!

Photo by Emily

When I explained to her that she will have to save up about $300 for a new one, her immediate response has been can she buy one second-hand?

I helped her research the types of second-hand DS's out there and she was surprised by the price range and asked me why. I explained to her that some had different features, some are older/newer, some come with lots of games and some don't.

She considers this for a bit and comes back to me and says:

"Mum, I don't want a DS with a camera or anything fancy like that. I just want one that I can play games with but not too many games. Because when there are too many games then I just play those games all the time and then it gets dark and I have to go bed and then I get sad because it means I have missed out on playing with S [her brother] and you."

So can you help me find a second-hand DS with about 5 or 10 games only please?"

Once again, I am in awe that my daughter can have such a clear grasp of impulse and self-regulation. I am so proud of her.

I wish you all a good weekend!

Incidentally, my daughter has now saved $71 of her pocket money. She wants to save $90 (going rate for a basic DS with not too many games). She's not far off her goal on getting her DS! (Oh and I did explain to her that she can if she wanted to, get a DS with more features but she's adamant that she wants a basic model only - I guess she can always sell her basic model and get a better one when she's older.)

I see green (first attempt at crazy patchwork)

2010-05-20T15:36:00.004+10:00

Hi all,

I spent all day today at home... because my children are sick. Yep, its that lovely time of the year again when everyone around me seems to have the cold or flu. I am okay though. I'm dosing up on Vitamin C and echinacea. It seems to be working (knock on wood).

Anyway, I thought I'd use the time at home to do some sewing. I made some more hankies for my children. The hankies only took me 5 mins to do (made 3) but the exercise just highlighted to me how many fabric scraps I have. The different size/shape scraps, in part, were created by my children who have been making fabric collages.

With the scraps being all different shapes and sizes, I thought I'd try my hand in crazy patchwork. To be safe, I thought I'd stick to the colour green :)

Here's the result:

And I had enough to make a European cushion cover.

The entire project took me only 2 hours to do. It was a great way of using up the different shaped scraps. As usual, all fabric and thread for this project were sourced second-hand. :)

My son loves it and has already taken it round to my neighbours to show it off. I will be going through the rest of my scraps in the next few days so I can make one for my daughter too.

Anyway, I hope you are all well and not suffering from any illnesses!

"'Pretty' is a word unworthy of everything you will be"

2010-05-14T07:41:00.006+10:00

Hello everyone,

As you can see its been awhile between posts. I am missing blogging but I guess, at the moment I'm in a point since my separation from my husband when I am reflecting on things that do not have much to do with consumption and are too private to share publicly. Having said that, I want to assure those who have emailed their concerns, that I am very well and truly on my way to healing. Thank you. The concerns of people (some I've never met) never ceases to amaze and touch me. I'm very lucky.

Work is as hectic as ever but I am loving my life at the moment. I have been making a conscious effort to reconnect with friends and past pleasures.

Recently, a friend of mine shared this video on Facebook and it touched me deeply so I thought I'd share it here. It touched me deeply because I have already heard my daughter (then 5 years old) ask me if she was "hot".

The early and inappropriate exposure of damaging sexual messages to children continues to be something I am most concerned about.

For those who have not seen this before, this is Katie Makkai - a poetry slammer (ie a poet who performs her original works in front of an audience). What I love about this video is its key message. A message that I hope to pass on to my own daughter:

"'Pretty' is a word unworthy of everything you will be"

I wish you all well.

And the band played Waltzing Matilda...

2010-04-25T12:54:00.006+10:00

Hello everyone,

This morning, my children attended their first ANZAC dawn service.

Photo by Nicole

For overseas readers of this blog, ANZAC day marks the first major military action fought by the Australian and New Zealand troops. On this day in 1915, the Australia New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC) formed part of the allied expedition that set out to capture the Gallipoli peninsula in Turkey. Their goal was to open the Dardanelles to the allied navies.

The campaign was a disaster.

From the very beginning, there were no specialised landing craft, the disparate troops had no training, and supplies for the army had been packed in ways which made them difficult to access for landings.

The British commander who lead the campaign, Sir Ian Hamilton, believed that the navy would make further attacks during his landings. The navy, realising likely losses and fundamentally opposing the idea that tactical losses of ships was acceptable declined to mount another attack. The Turks had been allowed two months warning from the first serious navy attack to prepare ground defences before the follow-up ground landing could be mounted. They were well prepared.

Over 8,000 Australians and close to 3,000 New Zealanders died.

At first, military censorship prevented the true story being told but an Australian journalist, Keith Murdoch (father of Australian newspaper tycoon Rupert Murdoch) smuggled the story about the scale of the Dardanelles disaster back to the Australian Prime Minister, Andrew Fisher.

Fisher and the New Zealand Prime Minister, took the matter to the British Prime Minister David Lloyd George. It led directly to the dismissal of the British commander, Sir Ian Hamilton and the withdrawal of troops from Gallipoli.

ANZAC day has since become a a national day of remembrance of all soldiers who have died at war.

For myself and my children, the concepts behind ANZAC day are hard to grasp. We commemorate soldiers we do not know, who fought in a land we've never been, to help a "mother land" we have long since left.

Yet, every year, I still try to attend ANZAC day services. Why? Because to me, ANZAC day is a day of national ritual mourning. And by mourning war, I am better able to instill (in my own small ways) peace for my children.

Lest we forget...

You are gorgeous just the way you are...

2010-04-20T00:08:00.001+10:00

My top travel worry

2010-04-18T19:38:00.009+10:00

Hey everyone!

I'm so sorry its been so long since I last posted. I have been travelling for work and have found it quite difficult to blog while on the road. I will be travelling on and off for a little longer so my infrequent posts may continue for awhile.

During my travels though, it occurred to me that I had a particular worry that many other travellers don't have and thought I'd share:

Number 1 Worry: that my home crafted stuff will somehow have traces of bomb-making ingredients...

Regular readers here would know that almost all of my crafting uses 2nd-hand materials. In fact, I can't remember the last time I used brand new materials to make something. Normally, this is not a problem for me. In fact, I really enjoy making stuff out of old stuff.

Unfortunately, when you're travelling crazy thoughts start spinning in your head arising from the fact that:

a. my materials have passed through many many hands before coming to me; and
b. it seems I come across too many articles citing how "easy" it is to make a bomb out of household materials.

So a few days ago, I get stopped at the airport for the random search of all my stuff. I was fine with this until the man said something along the lines of: "...traces of explosive materials...".

And that's when my confident smile slipped and quickly turned to "uncomfortable".

They scanned my handbag...

Made from an old book bought at a second-hand shop. Fabric and thread are also sourced second-hand.

They scanned my shoes....

Op-shopped shoes recovered in second-hand fabric.

They scanned my luggage...

My home crafted luggage using old curtains, an old lawn bowls bag, and op shopped thread.

Hell, even the clothes inside my luggage were second-hand!! And as I smiled my uncomfortable smile I kept worrying that "uncomfortable" was coming across as "shifty".

It was with great relief when they finally let me go and I could rejoin my workmates.

I was not alone in my worries though! As I approached my workmates at the airport lounge, I was greeted with: "Oh thank god there were no bomb traces in your stuff!!"

...yep they all know that I made my own stuff...

At least now I know that some of my home crafted stuff is safe to travel with.

I might stick with the same travel luggage and wardrobe for next few times - I don't think I can handle the worry of my other stuff coming up with traces of something that might end up deporting me... :P

I hope you are all well.

Some long weekend crafting

2010-04-05T16:18:00.009+10:00

Hi everyone!

Well, its been awhile since I managed to fit in a bit of sewing/crafting. So I took advantage of the long weekend to do a little bit of crafting and to use up leftover pieces of fabric.

To celebrate Easter, I made these little rabbits for my children. They've been named (L-R): "Chicka Cha" and "Terra".

This little pouch bag I made about 30 mins before I had to go out to dinner and listen to a band...and realised I didn't have a little bag that I can sling over my shoulder to carry just my keys, cards, cash and mobile phone.

Oh and after shopping at Oxfam for some Fairtrade chocolate this weekend, I was inspired to make this bowl using macrame string, paper strips from old magazines and modge podge:

It feels good to get back into it...I now have a jacket I am altering for a friend and I'm thinking of making something "winterish" for me.

I would love to hear what you are making at the moment!

Spending is also cultural (no-spend week fail)

2010-04-02T09:52:00.003+11:00

Hey everyone!

I'm sorry for not updating on Wednesday. Yet again, real life and work got in the way of my blogging. :)

So, in my last post, I predicted that the hardest part of my no-spend week will probably be at work. And I was right...

See, at my work, its become habit for a group of us to regularly shout each other coffee or snacks.

Let me digress a bit and explain "shouting" in Aussie culture (Aussie readers - feel free to skip this whole paragraph)... Shouting is basically buying something for (usually) a group of people, with the expectation that they will return the gesture. Shouting is in many ways almost like a group ritual that serves a practical purpose (its often easier for one person to order something for everyone). Its also a way to reinforce group identity and bonds. Its very rare to shout a group of people you have no real connection with. The shout ritual can (and often does) go round and round for a long time. At the end of the day/event/session, whoever did not take their next turn, will often be the first person to shout the next day/event/session. People can sit out a shout - provided its not their turn to shout. Like many cultural habits, the shouting ritual is not overtly stated or made obvious...indeed, I'm sure some Aussie readers may cringe at my use of the word "ritual" to describe "the shout" as it makes it more formal. Nevertheless, the shout does carry with it a very strong group expectation of participation.

At my work, our shouting ritual has been happening since November 09. On Mondays, its usually my turn to shout. Instead , I turned up with my Oxfam Fairtrade coffee beans and I made coffee for anyone who wanted a coffee.

All of which was appreciated but nevertheless, I felt that everyone was a bit confused... and I realised that the shout was not about the coffee or the time it took to make the coffee, but the whole demonstrable thing of actually going to a cafe for the group and buying something for them.

However, I managed to get through the next few days without spending anything until Thursday (day 6 of no-spend week)...and that's when it fell apart. We had 3 new starters in our team, and very quickly, a lunch at restaurant was organised to welcome them. Also, I had forgotten when I started this challenge, that I had also agreed to go out with my friends on Thursday night (yet again as part of a new ritual of getting together on the first weekend of each month).

So I weighed up the pleasure I get from participating in the group(s) and the benefits of the no-spend challenge and I decided to break my no-spend week a day early. Though I do note that if I had started my challenge when I said I would, then I would not have had to break it.

So what have I learned this time round? That spending is sometimes a necessary part of participating in a group. And sometimes my needing to belong outweighs my needing to save... I guess like all things its all a balancing act.

"Balancing Act 2.5" Photo by Bitzcelt

Incidentally, Gina said something along these same lines in her comment to me in my last post. As she said, its when spending becomes the substitute for generosity (as opposed to using spending to be generous) that it becomes a problem. Thank you Gina for writing something I needed to read!

So that's my no-spend week fail. Despite spending on day 6 though, I *did* manage to save $100 more than my normal weekly savings. That's not too bad. Though, of course still a long way off to get that digital SLR I wanted (price: $1,600)!

You may want to read what's happened to my other no-spend buddies!

Alison's gotten a blogging award (congrats Alison)! I also like your new blog look. Would love to hear how you went.

Tara's found that her no-spend week has reinforced her social bonds. Almost the opposite effect to what I had! More things for me to ponder.

Eef's enjoying no-spend activities and pondering on all sorts of things. BTW eef, I love your crocheted black kitty! You are very talented.

Anyway, I hope you are all well and enjoying the long weekend! See you next time!

Generosity (a no-spend week update)

2010-03-28T21:25:00.003+11:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you have had a wonderful weekend. I have spent the weekend hanging out with my beautiful children, catching up with friends as well as managing to fit in a bit of exercise. ...and I have managed to not spend a single cent. (insert little dance here)

I thing not spending is NOT an excuse to not be generous. Oh dear, how many negatives is in that sentence (its a triple negative!)...perhaps it would be better to say: spending does not have to have a direct relationship with generosity. Unfortunately, associating generosity with spending is something I have mistaken in the past and in some ways I still do now.

"Generosity" Photo by Hasby

The funny thing though is that I know that I don't appreciate spending generosity as much as I appreciate other forms of generosity.... perhaps its because I too, have Stuff-Overload-Blindness (SOB)?

Seriously, there is one form of generosity that I truly appreciate and that is those who are generous with their time. We always seem to be soooo busy (I'm including myself here). So when someone lends a hand or an ear by giving me a bit of their time, I truly appreciate it.

This weekend, friends of mine came over and took photographs of me and the kids. As a single parent and always the photographer, having someone else take photos of myself and the children is a gift of their time and talent that I will always treasure. Thank you R and O!!

But enough of my rambling! My no-spend buddies have also been very busy.

Tricia's had her first experience of dumpster-diving. (yay!)

Alison's done her first menu plan in many many years! (Congrats Alison and truly, it does get easier)

Tara's also celebrated Earth Hour (wasn't it great?). You may want to read her post on how she is feeling about not buying... Tara - I can so relate to those feelings! And like every change though, it does get easier.

Still waiting for Eef to update - I hope this means that she has been very busy with job interviews.

The next two days, I'll be at work during the day. I think this will be where my challenge gets hard. Wish me luck!

No-spend week starts with Earth Hour!!

2010-03-26T20:02:00.004+11:00

Hello everyone!

Well as of tomorrow, my no-spend week starts (yes, I'm starting a day late because I'm a dick and didn't plan my groceries till today). I have menu-planned for the week and have also talked to the kids about thinking up of activities we can do that don't cost any money. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm happy to say that a few people will be joining me for my no-spend week. In fact, some have already started!! Here they are:

Tricia at Little Eco Footprints - has already started! In fact she is doing her no-spend week with no prior planning! You are an inspiration Tricia!

Eef is also joining me and has started today! As an aside, good luck with your job interviews Eef!

Alison has also started today! You may want to check out her recipe for chicken pot pie - it sounds so yummy and easy!

Tara is currently doing her no buying brand new year (good luck with that! I know that my year had profoundly changed me) and she also started today. And how cool that you get a weekly metropass! Now there's the universe looking after you!

I will try to blog every 2 days over the next week to update everyone on how I and my fellow "non-spenders" are going.

Now, the other cool thing about my no-spend week is that tomorrow is also Earth Hour. My family and I have celebrated Earth Hour in the past - we first started to do it to help the environment...but now we do it because it helps us connect with each other. Without TV, the net, or any other distractions, we find that we usually end up sitting around just talking, singing and playing games together. Its a wonderful way to spend an evening. After such a busy period for us, having a quiet night like this is good.

As my kids are still little, Earth Hour for us actually starts at 6pm and will go till the next morning. The only things we don't turn off at the power points are the fridge and the garage door (only 'cause I can't find the power point to turn off the garage door electronic thingymajigy).

Are you celebrating Earth Hour?

What do you do for Earth Hour?

As another aside, I checked out the footprint calculator on the Earth Hour website and found that if everyone lived like me we would need TWO planets. *sigh* My love of travel (I am on a plane at least once a year) and the fact that I eat dairy and/or beef or chicken every day is a problem. Anyway, lots to think about.

"See" you all on Sunday!

Yep I'm going to do it again! (No Spend Week)

2010-03-20T14:42:00.006+11:00

Hi everyone!

I hope your weekend is going well. I hosted a dinner party last night and am about to go to another dinner party tonight. Yep, my year of celebrations is going great. I am loving catching up with everyone solely for the purpose of celebrating our connections. I am also finding that I go through this extremely sociable phase, that the celebrations are also a way of strengthening and deepening those connections. I am feeling more and more comfortable being part of my diverse community!

Now a few weeks ago, I blogged about wanting some new stuff. Anyway, I've decided to go ahead and buy a digital SLR. I want to get this camera before I go overseas, so I've decided that the easiest way to save up for it is to have yet another no-spend week.

Photo by Steffe

For new readers, my no spend week means exactly that - not spend a single cent. That means no cash or debit card will leave my wallet for a whole 7 days. I do have exceptions to the rule though:

1. Medical stuff - I'm not risking mine and my children's health to complete a challenge.

2. The bills that automatically come out of my bank account will continue. Auto-fortnightly payments for my mortgage, utilities etc have been a great way for me to manage my money. I don't want to throw out good practices for a week!

So when will my no-spend week start? It will start as at Friday, 26 March. That's the day when I should have finished paying off my trip overseas later this year and so will have no excuse to withdraw cash to make a payment.

Anyone want to join me in my no-spend week? Let me know and I'll add your blog here and give updates every second day to see how everyone's going.

Oh and if you want to know a bit more about my thoughts re: whether no-spend weeks really do save money, check out my previous blog post here.

I hope the rest of your weekend goes well!

Putting money in its place

2010-03-15T21:09:00.011+11:00

Hello everyone!

Firstly, a big thank you to all of you who are persevering with me and this blog of mine, despite my infrequent posting. I am still quite busy at work (major deadline coming up at the end of the month!) as well as with my family. Thank you to all those who emailed me to ask if I am okay. Yes, I am very well and though I'm busy, I am enjoying my year so far. I have to say, dedicating a year to celebrating the big and small things in my life has been very fulfilling for me - everyone should try it sometime!

My hedges are now looking...well if not quite perfect, then at least much neater and in some ways more beautiful than before. A huge thank you to all my friends who helped me get it under control. I truly enjoyed working and celebrating with everyone. My not perfect but now beautiful hedge is beautiful to me because everytime I look at it, I am reminded of my friends and how much they have helped me.

Anyway, on to the purpose of this post!

Photo by Cimexus

With me working so much at the moment, I have been thinking about the role of money in the context of a simple life. In soooo many ways, I can see how my journey has made me less dependent on the acquisition of more money....but....I would be lying if I say that it is still not important.

In fact, I think in many ways, managing money well is a key part of being able to live a simple life. I have learned that living a simple life demands having a clear understanding of what I need, can afford and then having the discipline to stick to it.

Now, you would think that understanding my needs and what I can afford would be the easy parts of my journey and the discipline being something I've had to work at....but strangely enough, that hasn't been my experience.

For me, I have found it harder to define what are my needs and wants and to learn what I can afford. Its been a hard journey and there are still days when I confuse my needs and wants, but I know that I'm getting there.

In some ways, I can equate my approach to money along the same lines as my joyful consumption ponderings. I found it easy to discipline myself with money because by having a truly clear and concrete understanding of my values (as opposed to having vague half thoughts about it), it seemed logical to then spend according to it.

And when I learned skills such as sewing, repairing and sourcing second-hand, and I found that my choices on what to spend and when to spend it became easy for me.

This year, as part of my commitment to celebrate my connections with others, I am going to do a little bit of travelling to visit friends interstate and family overseas. I have been saving up for it and I'm almost there. I have done this without having to borrow money or use a credit card (indeed, I no longer have (nor need) credit cards).

Sometime ago, I came across this quote and its stuck with me:

“Don't tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I'll tell you what they are.” - James W. Frick

This journey in living simply has been a very satisfying one for me...and one of the most satisfying has been that I've finally learned how to put money in its place. Money, and managing money, is now one of the many (but nevertheless important) ways I am able to live according to my values.

I hope you are all well and I wish you a good week ahead.

P.S. This weekend, I want to squeeze in a bit of crafting and sewing. Its been awhile since I've done it and I'm really missing it! Hopefully my next post will be me showing off something I've sewn (or started sewing).

Busy!! Housework as a way to celebrate bonds

2010-03-06T16:43:00.006+11:00

Oh my goodness, its been a long time since my last post!

Work is particularly busy for me at the moment and I'm finding that between that, spending time with my family and friends and keeping on top of the housework, there's not much time for much else.

Oh look, I've just listed "keeping on top of the housework" as part of my priority list! Housework had always been a bit of a challenge for me but strangely enough, since moving back into and decorating my house, its not been so much of a trouble.

I have stated before that perhaps this change in my housework habits is because I now pretty much own only as much as I can look after (ie I don't have that much stuff anymore). Or perhaps its because I am now in a better place all round...who knows?

Lately, I've taken to doing little bits of housework with friends. And its been so much fun! Sometimes I am at their house, sometimes at mine.

With me so busy with work at the moment, having friends help me with little (and big) things have been a wonderful source of practical support.

I am also proud of the fact though, that I am finally starting to ask for help (a well-being challenge I failed at in November). It is still hard but I'm doing it.

Tomorrow I am going to try and tackle my 25 metre long haven't-been-trimmed-for-a-year hedge with a couple of friends and neighbours. Afterwards we will celebrate with a little barbecue here at my place. Working together and eating together - its a wonderful way to celebrate our micro village!

This pic made me laugh, so I thought I'd share. "The Village People" Photo by Dunechaser.

I hope you are all enjoying the weekend (and for ONC'ers - hope you are also having a wonderful long weekend!)

Projecting the "me I want people to see"

2010-02-23T20:49:00.010+11:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you've all had a good start to the week. Me, I've been on hyperdrive at work! Which doesn't leave a lot of time for reflection, so its good that I had set this goal of writing a post today. Blogging has become a very important way of stopping and reflecting.

A few days ago, Jen of Darkpurplemoon said:

To someone like me across the other side of the world who only knows you through your blog - you have a really strong identity, which is creative, strong willed, caring and all out impressive.

Awww thanks Jen! You know, I'm always surprised by how people talk about my blog..and I guess by extension, me. :) But it is very nice of you to say these things Jen - thank you.

I wonder though what other people - ie non-readers of this blog - see when they see me and my home? I wonder if they see that I do this out of choice - to avoid human exploitation as much as possible? Or do they think I've fallen on hard times? Or do they think anything at all?

I have a feeling it falls into the latter category. I think that many people see so much stuff that they become kinda blind to how much they can see ("stuff overload"??).

My theory of "stuff overload" can be supported (I think) by the experiences of Alex who wore the same brown dress every day for a year...and she said that most people (especially those at her work) didn't even notice she wore the same dress every day. I also know that I don't really notice what other people wear or have either unless if they themselves point it out to me (and even then I usually have forgotten about it by the end of the week.)

"Too Much" Photo by Joe Madonna

So where am I going with this? I am starting to develop a theory (or should I say further develop my original consumption and identity theory).

I believe that consumerism has become a major way for us to project our identity - in this context:

the me I want people to see; or
the me I want to be.

The problem, however, is that in projecting our identity in this way we start surrounding ourselves with lots and lots of stuff....and we all develop "stuff overload blindness" (let's call it SOB).

And because we become blind to stuff, we then don't understand why the stuff we have do not seem to be projecting "the me I want people to see" or the "me I want to be".

Which leads us to think that our stuff must be "wrong" and so we get more new stuff. And we think "great! this is the stuff that will finally get people to see!!" or "great! this is the stuff that will finally project the me that I want to be!"

But the reality is that no matter what stuff we get, people (including ourselves) still have SOB and therefore won't be able to see for any meaningful length of time what we want to project...

So the whole thing is a pointless exercise which leaves us feeling dissatisfied.

...anyway, I hope I've made sense in this post. What do you think about my little theory?

Wishing you all a good week ahead.

Thank you (featuring your comments)

2010-02-21T21:18:00.004+11:00

Hello everyone!

I hope you have all had a wonderful weekend.

You know, I am always truly grateful for every one of you who have commented on this blog and have helped me on my journey. The last few days I've been reading your comments here and have been so grateful that you guys have taken the time to write such lovely, challenging and insightful messages. You have all truly helped me process my challenges and shared my triumphs.

I thought I might pull out some comments to share with those who may not have read them yet.

So here they are (and in no particular order):

On Ethical Meat-Eating

Daharja said:

My mother grew up in an English country village and ate the diet that had been typical of her countryfolk for generations.

Which was: roast on Sundays (ever heard of the Sunday Roast?), then the offcuts were eaten through the week.

There was no refrigeration (electricity only made it to her village in the 1960s, yes really!), so meat couldn't be kept for long.

For lunch, sandwiches were often bread and dripping. Sounds real appealing, NOT. And breakfasts were often eggs, but no bacon. Bacon was a treat, which her Dad got far more often than she and her brother did, because it was so expensive!

Mum was not, and has never been, a vegetarian.

I'm mentioning this, because when you compare the amount of animal products she consumed growing up to what most meat-eaters typically consume today, the difference is striking.

From a practical point, the vast amount of meat we're consuming as a species increasing rapidly in numbers (another big issue there!) is causing massive deforestation, raping of our seas, and an extinction event we can now proudly hail the Anthropocene.

To read all of Daharja's comments, click to this post and scroll down.

On buying

Janet wrote:

Remind yourself that you are being a conscious consumer - not a non-consumer. Seems to me you have made conscious choices to purchase products which fit into your present lifestyle, to enhance who you are - not define who you are.

Actually all the comments on this post have really helped me a lot (thank you!!). Click here to read them.

On ethical food consumption

Rebekka wrote:

To me, buying at Aldi's not just about food miles (which I also think are very important) it's also about the sort of food systems you're supporting. When you buy from a farmers' market, or a local greengrocer (ours doesn't focus on local products as such, but we make a point of asking where the products are grown) or butcher or baker, you support farmers, and/or you support a local small business. Your dollar underpins small, local systems.

To read the rest of Rebekka's comment, click here and scroll down.

On Sole Parenting and Ethical Consumption

Hathor's Bath wrote:

Maybe people think you don't have "time" to do the ethical thing; organic food costs loads more than the cheap stuff, even fast food costs a fraction - and there seems to be the assumption that making things from scratch takes loads of time - if you're a working parent you don't HAVE time.

Honestly, I make time - because I know it's important to do so as it's only me. Like you, I don't have anyone to convince to follow my path like I used to before (and of course could never manage it) so I can just do my thing. I have made my own time by working at home, and rather than getting the more expensive job to buy more stuff, I have the job that allows me to work at home and I just buy less stuff. It's not impossible to do, it just means finding your principles and sticking with them, at least it does to me

To read other comments on this post, click here.

Anyway, I have just realised what the time is and I must be off. Once again, thank you all for your comments and I hope newer readers here (welcome!) will be able to get something out of the above. I hope to start making your comments a regular feature in this blog.

Next time I post (probably on Tuesday), I will be tackling the issue of identity (as suggested by Jen in her comment on this post). In other words, enough about you, let's talk about me (haha!).

See you all then!

I want I want I want...

2010-02-19T21:36:00.004+11:00

"Consumerism = Slavery" by just.luc

Hello everyone!

Okay, I have a confession to make - the last two months I have been suffering from:

On-Road Cycle Covetousness
Digital SLR Cravings
I-Phone Envy

...yes, I have been really craving to buy buy buy. And buy BIG.

Now this is a bit of a novelty for me. The last 3 years, I have been quite happy to potter along learning how to live without stuff...and now I want these three items in a big way.

I'm not sure what happened. I suspect its due to the fact that now that I am finding my feet again after my separation, there is something about these items that represent that new identity I am redefining for myself.

In short these items are representing parts of the new "me that I want to be".

Several times now, I have walked in to the shops to buy these items only to walk away empty-handed.

...not all of it is willpower. I simply do not have the savings to buy all three items at once...nor do they mean so much to me that I would go into debt for them.

Also:

My old mountain bike is heavy and doesn't go fast, but its still perfectly capable of riding along the many bicycle paths along ONC*.

My old manual SLR can still take photos - I just have to wait for the film to be developed. (And yes, I found a couple of places that still take camera film.)

My current phone still calls, texts and even connect on to the internet.

But in the end, its not functionality I'm really after. I'm after a new look in life.

Part of the process of redefining my identity has involved reconnecting to past pleasures. Pleasures I indulged in before marriage and before children. But now, I want to reclaim them from my past and bring them into my present (hence why I am not content with my old items which really are from my past).

...then a small voice inside me keeps persisting - "you know you can be the person you want to be anyway without these things."

So awareness of my motivations for wanting these items is holding me back from fulfilling my desire to buy...at least for now. I'll let you know if I cave. :P

I wish you all a wonderful weekend.

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

Consuming food according to my values

2010-02-15T21:09:00.005+11:00

Hi everyone!

I've had a fantastic few days celebrating with my friends and family. I'm trying to make an effort to celebrate 'me' and how far I've come. Celebrating me is a concept that I kinda get in my head but I have to admit also find it difficult to actually do without my mind veering off to thinking about something else instead. I am still very uncomfortable about consciously assigning importance (how I am defining "celebrate") to myself and my journey so far.

I wonder if that's an Aussie culture thing? Or is it a female thing?

...and once again, I have digressed from the purpose of this post. The wizardess of dreams wrote to me:

i would like to hear about...morality in food, i suppose. like, trying to find food that is environmentally sound and how one does that, because i am struggling a lot with that right now.

You know, I have to admit, this is one of the things I struggle with. Firstly, I think its a struggle because for me I have found it hard to define my own values related to food. Food - the way that it gets produced and lands on my table - has never really been something I thought about until I started this blog and only after a few emails and comments made by readers here.

Photo by Rachel Andrew

For me the first step in lasting change has always been to question why I am wanting that change. For me, this has meant looking beyond my superficial assumptions and questioning them.

I recorded my first attempt at questioning and defining my values related to food here (link takes you to my post about vegetarianism). I re-read that post before I wrote this one and found myself thinking that what I said then still reflects the values I have over food now. Human rights will always be at the top of my value priority list and will always take precedence over environmental and animal rights issues associated with food production.

My food value system has also been influenced by other bloggers. In particular, Julie from Towards Sustainability who has written about her food choices. Here are some of my favourite posts of hers on this topic:

Defining my values towards food made it easier for me to decide what to buy and to reach compromises that I am happy with.

I have access to some good retailers for food (I blogged here about the farmers market) - and there is a great fruit and veg shop near me that stocks locally grown food. I also know some great gardeners who have excess food from their garden occassionally. ...And I'm lucky that they think of me when they have excess food. (Thank you!!!)

In terms of finances, well, like any consumption, it is a matter of priority and creativity. I place great importance in showing my children the empowerment that comes from living according to my values. Therefore, consuming in a way that makes a mockery of those values is something I can not abide by. So I place appropriate priority for financing my consumption habits in my budget. Menu planning helps a LOT (see my post on "How I got my grocery bill down to $70 a week").

Now I know I probably haven't totally answered your question Wizardess, but I do hope that this post has given you some food for thought (haha) on consuming food according to your own values.

I hope you have all had a wonderful weekend and I wish you a good week ahead.

Sustainable living in the ONC*

2010-02-11T21:56:00.007+11:00

Hey everyone!

I am gearing up for a very busy next few days (yes, I'll be socialising), so I thought I'd do a quick post now in reply to Quatrefoil who asked:

...what are your recommendations for good places to go to sustain the sustainable lifestyle. Where are the good markets, op-shops, free things to do etc. And are there groups of like-minded people I can join?

Now I have to admit, this is a daunting question for me...but only 'cause there are so many free places to go, markets to do, op-shops etc. So I'll try my best to cover what I do know.

Free Places to Go

Oh my goodness, the sky's the limit here - virtually all of our national buildings, parks and galleries are free. I've blogged about them here. But here's some more that are not as well advertised to tourists (ie advertised only within local communities):

Round Town Events - free entertainment, jumping castles, face-painting and/or crafting for the kids. Food would be the only thing you have to buy (or you can bring your own). My experience is that the music is usually excellent in these venues.

events.act.gov.au Also advertises lots of free (and not free) entertainment that's happening. There's Groovin' in the City at the moment and then Canberra Festival soon, but there are heaps more that come up all the time.

There are also free ranger-guided walks in our many parks.

The best way to know of free events is to attend one...then look for the Information Stall to find out when the next free event will be. I've found that there's at least one good free event to go to once a month.

Good Markets

Well, I'm partial to:

Handmade Markets - held quarterly. These markets are just fantastic. Prices are a bit exxy but you certainly get beautiful craftsmanship for what you buy!

Farmers Market - for food grown in the region, good organic options. You can also get fairtrade coffee beans here (though I prefer to go to Oxfam in the Canberra Centre for my coffee and chocolate). Oh their website says they are only in EPIC on Saturday morning, but the same stall holders are also at the Woden CIT on Sunday morning and then Queanbeyan Park on Sunday afternoon (the Queanbeyan one is much smaller though).

Good Op Shops

Oh for good op shops, with reviews etc, you HAVE to check out this blog: http://act-opshopping.blogspot.com/ The authors there will have much better info than me!

Trash and Treasure markets are also quite good. I'm partial to the one in Jamieson and the one in Woden (no website) every Sunday morning.

I'm afraid I'm not really a member of any sustainable living groups. I find that being with my children, work and being with my family and friends take up pretty much all of my time already, so I can't help you there.

Now I know that there are heaps of other shops or even groups to join out in the ONC, so for ONC readers of this blog, if you would like to add shops/sustainable living groups on this blog post, please comment below (and I'll do my best to edit and expand on this list)!!

In the meantime, Quatrefoil, you might like this ad about ONC, titled "Things Have Changed":

*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

Sole Parenting and Ethical Consumption

2010-02-09T21:25:00.000+11:00

Hello everyone!

Oh my goodness, its been so long since I last updated. This is a result of a combination of things - firstly, I lost my home net connection for awhile there (just a glitch between my account and my ISP - all resolved now). The second reason is that I have been consciously trying to live up to my word of the year - to celebrate.

And I've realised that celebrating one's day to day life doesn't leave much room to write about it. For me celebrating inevitably means people. I am not one to celebrate alone (though I do admire those who can do it). So my days and nights have been filled with spending time with family, as well as old and new friends. Its been a wonderful few weeks for me, reconnecting with people and indulging in past pleasures.

But I digress from the purpose of this post.

I have received a couple of emails asking me if I am a sole parent (yes I am) and how do I manage live on one income while still living and consuming ethically.

Photo by Ryan Opaz

Now, I have to say that my first reaction was to say that I never saw being a sole parent or being on a single income had anything to do with how I consume. My initial thoughts were that average people always have a choice in regards to how they spend their income - whatever the amount of that income is and whether the income is coming from one or many sources. I maintain that we truly do not need as much stuff as we currently have, nor do we need to keep spending money to maintain stuff that we do not need. In my experience, decluttering and downsizing were HUGE steps towards becoming more empowered with how I spend.

I simply don't buy a lot of stuff - nor do I have a lot of stuff to maintain.

Which means that when I do buy stuff, I am more able to buy according to my values (aka "joyful consumption").

I know that I might be coming across as a bit flippant about this. Believe me that is not my intention. I know its been a hard journey for me to get to where I am now and I acknowledge that I still have a way to go. Consumerism in our society is inextricably linked to our sense of identity and (dare I say it) self-worth. Taking steps away from all that is hard...BUT I hope people know that it can be done.

...Now all that I've written so far, as I've said, was my first reaction. And I do believe that it has a great deal of truth in it for me... but on reflection, I also realise that I would be wrong in saying that there is no link between being a sole parent and ethical consumption.

In reflecting my consumption choices over the last 4 years, I realise that being a sole parent (for almost 2 years) has allowed me to make financial and consumption decisions without having to consult another person. I am in (what I regard) a very great position to truly consume according to my values.

That's not to say that it can not be empowering to make decisions as a couple. I know that when I was married, there were times when I felt empowered after we had negotiated win-win situations. ...But it is harder and I'm afraid I don't have any good advice on this one (indeed, I am probably the last person who can give that advice anyway).

I can say this though, living simply has enabled me to make choices and adjust to a smaller income more easily. When I think of the way I used to be as a consumer, I truly think that I would not have been able to make the adjustment to a sole income as smoothly as I did.

So I guess in some ways, you can say that living simply has not only allowed me to live ethically, but its also empowered me to deal with life's challenges. In short, my simple life allows me to dance even when its raining.

I wish you are all well.

************
Oh and on a totally unrelated topic, I am pleased to announce that the National Library of Australia recently contacted me to ask for my permission for this blog to be part of its Pandora Archive.

I have to admit, I am quite flattered that they think my blog is worthy of Pandora and I look forward to the day when I can show my (hopefully) grandchildren this blog in our National Library.

A big thank you to all my readers who have commented and emailed me. Your thoughts and questions continue to be a source of great learning and encouragement for me and my journey. I hope that, in turn, you were also able to get something out of my blog.

*****************************

Children, harmful sexualised messages and self-regulation

2010-01-30T07:18:00.009+11:00

Hi everyone,

As promised, I am slowly going to go through everyone's suggestions and questions and blogging here about it.

Sharni wrote:

"What about something about protecting our kids from explicit material etc.. that is blatantly in their faces in newsagencies etc... I signed a petition I found on your blog once and I thought it was worthwhile and a really important issue... the amount of sexual messages in society is enormous and it worries me now I'm a Mama."

This request gave me some food for thought because my approach to handling this issue is pretty much based on my belief that everyone innately knows what's good for them - that is, we all have the capacity to self-regulate. And the better we are at this, then the better we are at blocking messages that are deeply harmful to us.

Okay, I know that sounds a bit kooky but let me explain.

I believe that we are all born knowing how to listen to our bodies and emotions. As babies, we knew when we needed something and we demanded it. I do not believe that babies ever demand something they do not need - and by that I mean need physically or emotionally.

My biggest challenge as a parent has been (and still is) to decipher my children's (sometimes incomprehensible) messages and respond in a way that does not diminish that expression of need.

When my children were babies, I tried my utmost to trust and respect my children's inate capacity to demand for things that are good for them. Eg. Trust them when they signal to me that they are hungry and allow them to feed as their little bodies required. (Despite me nervously thinking at times that they're eating too much/too little/too often/too far apart). I trusted my babies when they went through difficult times of sleep (or non-sleep) and trusted their signals on how to help them through it - in most cases, I chose to respond by simply being there to hold them (in different ways) as they tried to sort out their body changes and their sleep.

As they got older and grew into toddlerhood, another layer of complexity was added - how to respond in a way that sets boundaries but still respects their initial emotion. I guess in a way, my approach can be summed up as: "The emotion is always okay but there are appropriate ways on how to handle it." Eg. I tried to show my children that they always have the right to be angry and they also have the right to express that emotion...but they should express it through words or drawings or letters.

My then 4 year old daughter tasting Fairy Floss for the first time...and no she didn't finish it.

So where am I going with this? I believe that it is important to not lose or diminish the capacity to listen to our bodies and emotions. I believe that we can steadily lose that capacity when we are constantly told to ignore our needs so that we can behave in a way that is "easier". And when we lose that capacity, we also have a diminished capacity to self-regulate and block harmful messages or habits.

Looking back on this blog, I can see that I've documented a couple of my children's experiences with self-regulation:
- When my daughter refused to take on a boyfriend (yes, she was 6 years old when she first experienced being pressured to have a boyfriend at school.)
- When my daughter chose to delay instant gratification for a bigger goal.

But I also have other examples:

Today, my children were given 2 large packets of chocolates and lollies each by different people. I was helping out my neighbours in the garden and they commented that my children (who were in inside the house) had probably scoffed down all the chocolates and were now on a sugar high. I went inside to check on them, and found that they only had 3 chocolates each...because as my son (5 years old) said that eating more was going to make him feel "funny and "sick" (hmmm...pity I don't have the same discipline and I usually end up being "funny and sick").

My children will regularly excuse themselves out of the room when they are at other people's houses if they see something on TV or computer that they don't like or if they know the content is rated above "PG (Parental Guidance)". Something almost all their carers at those times have commented on.

Now I have to say that while I am going on about self-regulation, I do limit their exposure as much as possible to the material in the first place. We do not watch commercial TV at home. My children are not allowed on the internet except when I am surfing the web with them. (I posted about the other things I do in this post.)

I try not to freak out about the things they are exposed to outside of our home - what's at the shops, at friends' houses, at after-school care etc. The way I see it, their exposure to those things give us plenty of chances to discuss and deconstruct the messages. I am not a believer in total censorship, nor do I want to discount my children's inate need to understand and belong to their community.

I only hope that I am able to continue walking that (sometimes very fine) line between teaching my children how to listen to themselves and how to behave in a socially appropriate manner.

Anyway, this post has rambled on enough so I'll stop here.

I hope you have all had a wonderful weekend!

Photo here for no other reason than to tell you my son has now mastered riding a bike with no training wheels this weekend!

My tote!

2010-01-28T15:54:00.005+11:00

Hi everyone!

I FOUND MY CAMERA!! And I found my Ben Folds' Songs For Silverman CD as well. So things are obviously looking up. Funny how it was lost till I blogged about it and within 24 hours found both items. (Thank you blog fairies).

And a big thank to everyone who emailed and commented on my last post giving me ideas on what to write about!! I now have a list and will steadily go through them. The weather's cooler so I'll probably be in a better mood to write regularly.

Anyway,in my last post, I told you that I had made a matching tote to go with my overnight bag. Here it is!

I used a pattern for this one (first time to do a bag pattern!) - the Amy Butler Sweet Harmony. It was a little hard to follow so I'm glad I didn't attempt this as one of my beginner projects. Also I couldn't find any fusible fleece anywhere so I did it the old fashioned way using just normal fleece. I also didn't use interfacing...though now that I think about it, I should have at least put some on the bottom of the bag.

Oh as you know the fabric was an op shopped curtain and the lining was fabric given to me by the lovely and talented Bec who was decluttering her fabric stash. THANK YOU Bec!

Still all in all, I'm quite happy with it. I have to admit, I felt a bit spesh carrying my luggage around in Sydney last weekend.

I wish you all a good weekend ahead!

I haven't blogged because...

2010-01-25T22:08:00.003+11:00

- I can't find my camera
- Its been too hot
- I've been busy

...all lame excuses...its actually 'cause I have once again lost my bojo*

I have made a matching tote bag to go with my overnight bag...but as I said I can't find my camera to show it off.

I have received a couple of emails from new and old readers though asking some questions about me. If you are a new reader, then welcome! And I'm so sorry I've been slack on the blogging front. If you would like to know a bit more about me I have posted an intro here. Please feel free to introduce yourself too! I have a notification thingy that tells me there are new comments on that post so I *will* read it (and reply).

Oh and for those who had questions about why I blog etc, then you might find Sharni's interview of me might answer your questions.

Now, I need your help. Please help me find my bojo! Do you have a topic you'd like to see me cover here? Give me a writing assignment please!

Anyway, I'm off to try and find my camera....and my Ben Folds, "Songs for Silverman" CD. *sigh* Its been one of those weeks.

Its Australia Day tomorrow! And I am proud to say that I do celebrate it.

I hope you are all well.

*Bojo = blogging mojo

Too much caffeine & sugar= reconstructed halter top

2010-01-16T10:08:00.008+11:00

Hello everyone!

So in the spirit of my celebration of 2010, I had decided to instigate a one day a month celebration of obscure days and holidays at my work. Yes, my workmates were at first a bit puzzled but very quickly warmed to the idea...especially as it involved a morning tea. :)

So yesterday was Wikipedia Day - yes folks, Wikipedia went public yesterday 9 years ago. So a workmate brought a cake and a few of us then decorated it with lollies (known as Collaborative Cake Decoration Project...should I put a TM there somewhere?). Unfortunately, I didn't take pics...maybe I will next time.

Anyway, long story short - the end result of the day was that I overloaded on sugar and caffeine. So after a couple of hours of tossing and turning last night not being able to get to sleep, I decided to do some sewing (yes at 2am).

This skirt has been in my sewing pile for quite some time:

It was way way too big for me and I had planned to take it in. But 2am in the morning was just way too late to do something as boring as that....so instead I turned it into this:

Now in the light of day (oh man I'm tired), I can see I'll need to tidy it up a bit.

Still I'm happy with the overall look considering I didn't really have a pattern or tutorial to base the reconstruction from (and the fact that it was 4:00am by the time I finished).

Anyway, I'm off to perpetuate the cycle and have some more coffee...the kids are wanting to play with me.

I wish you all a good weekend.

Falling and Safety Nets

2010-01-13T20:48:00.003+11:00

Hello everyone,

Forgive me for being so slack on the blog front. I'm no good with heat. Many of you in Oz will know that everywhere in the south to south east of mainland Australia will have been experiencing the high temps (40 degrees celsius or higher) and hot winds. Its all I can do to not lose my temper at the smallest things, let alone blog!

The heat has meant that I've been staying indoors and not doing much. Something, I have to admit, I don't really enjoy. I am generally physically active and love doing things but the heat is sapping all of my energy!

Having said that, my prolonged periods of physical inactivity is leading me to reflect quite a bit which has been good for me. For some reason an older post of mine, Falling with Style, has been coming back to me a lot. In that post, I talked about how my journey to a simpler life has, in many ways felt like falling. But now I've realised that that post is actually incomplete.

My "fall" could never have happened without my safety nets. While its true that taking little steps have assisted my fall from consumerism, that's only half the picture. The truth is that not participating in consumerism is SCARY. Its not until I stopped buying did I realise how much of my identity and my relationships depended on consuming - and consuming a LOT. Leaving all that was scarier and a bigger change than I have ever anticipated.

So I don't think I could've ever gone through the change (and still doing so now) without my safety nets - ie all the people who are there to catch me when I fall. They are not necessarily people who are journeying with me. They are the people in my life who accept me without judgement or conditions. They are the people I can turn to when I am unsure of what to do. They are the people who help me even when I do not ask.

In short, they are the people who give me the courage to strive for what I believe in and the humour to cushion my disappointment when I fail. They are my family, my neighbours and my friends.

Photo by pescottspies

Now I have to say, equating my support network with a safety net, is particularly apt for me. Because I have also realised that like safety nets, support networks need to be cared for and maintained. Especially in today's busy world, it seems it is too easy to lose touch or disconnect with people.

I have to admit, I feel that I have been particularly lax about maintaining my safety nets. So here's me pledging to take better care of my safety nets and value them.

Who are your safety nets? What do you do to maintain them?

Living at the border

2010-01-07T22:28:00.001+11:00

Borders by jeloid

Hello everyone!

I hope your week is going well. I returned to work this week and I have to admit, I'm struggling to get out of "holiday" mode. I'm fine right up until 3pm....then I need my nana nap :P.

On another note, I have been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love". I'm enjoying the book, though I am finding reading her thoughts on finding God hard to read with an open mind. One thing struck me was her thoughts on antevasin - "living at the border". In her book, Elizabeth defines antevasin:

It means "one who lives at the border." In ancient times, this was a literal description. It indicated a person who had left the bustling center of worldly life to go live at the end of the forest where spiiritual masters dwelled. The antevasin was not one of the villagers anymore - not a householder with conventional life. But neither was he yet a transcedent - not on of the sages who live deep in the unexplored woods, fully realised.

And as soon as I read it, I couldn't help thinking that's ME! If I could equate truly living simply as a "transcendent" life, that is. As many of you know, I am at the stage in my life now where it is actually hard for me to consume...but it does not mean I don't consume. I still buy 99% of my food, I still do the odd bit of plane travel and at times I still buy brand new (though I am proud to say that I can actually count on one hand how many brand new items I have bought in the last 18 months).

Indeed, I feel as if I live and participate in that halfway place... the border between consumerist and non-consumerist worlds.

There are times when living at the border is comfortable. But at times its also...well, kinda lonely - especially when I don't feel I fit perfectly in the worlds I move in and out in.

It seems fortuitous then that after reading that chapter in Elizabeth's book that Theresa chose to leave her comment in my Word for 2010 post. Theresa left me this quote:

"Reality is a Perfectionists Nightmare"

And I realised that this is where all my feelings of isolation are stemming from. I feel isolated because I am not a "perfect fit".

...then I realised, but who is? If I stop to think about it, I realise that in both of the worlds I occupy, I hear the same echoes: "I wish I am 'better'".

Don't get me wrong, I think that striving to do better is a pretty good thing. But it can stop me from enjoying what I am right now.

So here's a toast to me - celebrating living at the border - and for being able to do it within my own values.

...Now I can admit to you that I made that toast to myself with a vodka cruiser while sitting in my craft room having just finished the first step in my next crafting with second hand materials project.....:P

I hope you've had a good week.

Finished my first craft project for 2010!

2010-01-03T17:17:00.006+11:00

Hi everyone!

Firstly a big thank you to everyone who shared with me their word for the year. It was wonderful for me to read them and I thought it was a great way to start 2010 here in this blog.

Secondly, I'm still having a little trouble with my coding for this template (though dates and widgets are now fixed!). Whenever I link to things the words are not highlighted or underlined in any way that shows its a link until you hover your mouse over it. So trying to figure out why that is. If anyone out there can help me, please don't hesitate to contact me! :)

Now back to the purpose of this post. Some time ago, I picked up an old musty bowling bag from a school fete. I started to recover it and turn it into an overnight bag but then ran out of glue....then I got slack. But I found myself having a free hour today, and so I thought I'd finish it. And here it is!

Inside is not as neat as I would have liked. I underestimated how much the fabric would fold into the corners. Still, I can live with the inside being like this.

As usual, all materials used (except for glue) were sourced second hand.

The bowling bag is the perfect size for taking as overhead luggage in a plane. I may end up having to do some short trips this year for work so it'll be nice to carry this around to show it off.

So anyone else finished their first 2010 craft project? If you have please let me know! I would love to have a look.

My word for 2010

2010-01-01T10:50:00.002+11:00

Hello everyone,

Happy New Year! Like my new look? I have to re-insert all my widgets back (I keep getting error messages when I insert it in by code so I may have to do it the long way). Don't worry you'll see all of my links soon. :P

Anyway, I hope you have all had a great start to the year. I had a relaxed and fairly quiet night. Quiet is good because it helped me reflect on what I would like to do this year.

In a discussion forum I go to, there was a thread there about New Year's resolutions. Now I don't do resolutions. I'm one of those people who think why wait for New Year before doing things I'd like to do? I'm way too impatient for resolutions. :P

Having said that, one of the ladies in the thread mentioned about not having a resolution but having a "word" for the year. This appeals to me much more. Having a word for the year will help me focus on what I would like to get out of all the things I will inevitably do this year.

And my word for 2010 is "Celebrate".

Photo by rAmmoRRison

The last few years, I think I have focussed on "learn" and "survive". And while I can see how focussing on these things have shaped me and made me happy, I am now feeling the need to kick back and just celebrate.

So this year, I will consciously celebrate the quiet, the loud, the fun and the serious. This year, I will consciously celebrate the me I have become and the me I will, no doubt, change to. Most of all, I will consciously celebrate this journey towards a simpler life.

Do you have a word for the year?

2009 - the year of.....

2009-12-31T09:08:00.001+11:00

Hello everyone,

Forgive me for indulging in a bit of sentimentality. I have been pondering about 2009 and what I have learned this year. I have often found that my greatest moments of learning often come when I ponder on the sadder parts of my life.

Regular readers of this blog would know that towards the end of 2008, I separated from my husband. 2009 was the year of recovery for me. In many ways, that recovery is not yet over, but if there is one thing that I've learned, it is that I am quite resilient and that despite experiencing lows I have never experienced before, I am relieved to find that, I can still see life as a wonderful adventure.

And having discovered that, I am slowly coming to the realisation that I do not have to be scared of what the future holds for me.

For those who have found 2009 a year of discovery and recovery, I wish to share with you this song. Its one of very few songs that have touched me deeply and I hope you enjoy it too.

I hope you've had a fulfilling 2009 and I wish you well for 2010.

Rhythmns...

2009-12-26T15:33:00.006+11:00

Hello everyone!

As I am writing this post, its gently raining outside. Here at the ONC*, we've all experienced a wonderful Christmas present - rain! Gentle summer rain that is sorely needed. Everyone's gardens and lawns have been so parched and dry.

The rains have been a double edged present though. While we at the ONC have been enjoying the gentle rain, many people further north to us are in the thick of the massive storm and they are experiencing floods. To all my friends and readers up Bathurst, Orange, Parkes, Dubbo way - I hope you are well and the floods have not created too much damage to your homes and gardens.

Aside from rain, I have had a wonderful Christmas day with my children, family and friends. In what's becoming a tradition in my family, we spent the day playing with my children, eating seafood, playing with my children, watching my dad nap on the sofa and playing with my children. There's something rhythmic about a Christmas spent with people you have known all your life or in turn all of their lives.

I have noticed that.

This morning (boxing day), some friends and I spent the morning having breakfast and shopping (well, they shopped - as usual, I made a poor attempt at it). And once again, I noticed the familiar rhythmns of our talk. These are friends I've had since childhood. We have grown up together and have known each other for more than half our lives.

And the rhythmns are gentle - comforting.

I realised, that in my last bah-humbug Christmas post, I was wrong. We do have a mutually recognised way of showing our connection with others. But unlike the ads, the movies or the tv, this mutual recognition is not blatant and cliche. Its there in the way we talk to each other and the way we move from one activity to the next. Underneath all the talk and activities, there is that subtle and mutual recognition that these rhythmns are how we celebrate our complex connections with each other.

As I now embark on new adventures and the new year, its comforting to know that these rhythmns will be there - quietly celebrating.

ONC= "Our Nation's Capital"

Aaah.... revisiting a wonderful childhood activity.

2009-12-19T22:22:00.006+11:00

Hello everyone!

This morning, my son and I went to the Mt Stromlo Forest Park. For those not in the ONC*, the park is dedicated bicycle and equestrian park set on some 20 acres of land. The trails are wonderful - from really easy (bitumen or hard packed dirt) to very difficult.

My son and I were riding on one of the easier trails when suddenly the sprinklers came on. Sprinklers in the ONC is a rarity. To use sprinklers requires special permission.We are now nearing our 5th year of water restrictions. My son is 5 years old. He's never truly seen sprinklers before. My son and I (along with other riders on the trail) stopped to marvel at the sprinklers when an old childhood memory hit me.

I turned to my son, "Hey do you want to do something I used to do when I was a child?"

Him: "Yep!"

And to his shock I got off my bike, took off my bike helmet and started running through the sprinklers. The other young riders (aged between 8 to 10 years) on their bikes soon followed suit. My son laughed his head off but at first wouldn't go in. Finally he was coaxed in by one of the other younger boys.

We spent the next few mins shrieking with laughter, streaking in and out of the sprinklers.

After 15 mins, the sprinklers were turned off. And all of us stood there thoroughly soaked, shivering slightly in the breeze with huge grins on our faces.

Eventually our fellow sprinkler mates got back on their bikes and rode off to tell their parents of their adventure. My son and I slowly pedalled back to the car and let the warm sun dry our clothes.

I felt truly blessed that I was able to give my son this one experience from my childhood.

(Note: I tried to find an Australian photo of people running or playing through sprinklers**...but I couldn't - with thousands of creative commons licenced photos at my finger tips, there was not a single photo of Aussie kids playing through sprinklers.....I guess its that much of a rarity these days. If there's ever a next time, I'll be sure to take a photo. :) )

*ONC - Our Nation's Capital
** All photos used on this blog have a creative commons general attribution licence - ie they can be used freely provided I attribute the photographer.

Doing what I love...(and finally answering Ryan's question)

2009-12-17T20:35:00.002+11:00

Hello everyone!

Firstly a big big thank you to everyone who commented in my last post about Christams gift giving. Thank you for your empathy, your advice and sharing your viewpoints. Your comments (and this blog) have been a big part of my journey to simplifying my life and I am truly grateful for it.

On another note, my 2009 wrap-up post has gotten me thinking and I suddenly realised....I am doing what I love!

I have always had this idealised image of people who are living the life they wanted. For some reason, I imagined that these people are perpetually and ecstatically happy.

But of course that's totally unrealistic. Not only is ecstatic happiness tiring, but also...well, surely it would get boring!

That aside, I am starting to realise that my life this year has been an amazing balance of challenges, self-discovery and triumphs. I am continuing to simplify my life. I no longer bear any resemblance to the shopaholic me of only 3 years ago. I have found my creativeness - something that had been buried by years of consumption habits that told me that I did not have it in me to make anything and needed to buy.

Anyway, before I get too soppy, I thought I'd better answer Ryan's question about what I meant about fabric strips on top of my curtains. (Sorry Ryan for taking so long.)

Just to refresh your memory, in my post about my free sustainability house inspection, I learned that insulation works by trapping air. The more "air tight" this trap is, the better the insulation is.

Anyway, during my post about my subsidised ceiling insulation, Ryan asked me what I meant about placing a fabric strip on top of my curtains.

The fabric strip is simply that, a fabric strip placed on top of my curtains to make my curtains work better as an insulator. I hope my drawing below explains it a bit better.

I placed heavy fabric (curtain offcuts) in between the curtain rod and the window. I sewed velcro on both of the long sides of the fabric and glued velcro on the top sides of the curtain rod and the window sill. The curtain hides this fabric strip so you don't actually see it.

By placing fabric in between the rod and the window, I effectively slow down the rate which air escapes at the top of my curtains, making my curtains more effective in keeping the house cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter.

Anyway, that's it for me today. Two more Christmas parties to go and that's it for me for the festive season!

I hope you are all having a good week.

Why Gift-Giving at Christmas is HARD

2009-12-14T00:30:00.000+11:00

Hi everyone!

Okay, I apologised before about how I can be such a bahhumbugger every Christmas and wrote my Wrap Up for 2009 instead.

...but I'm afraid I just can not resist from going all bahumbuggie again. So here's fair warning to all Christmas lovers out there. Stop reading now.

...
....
.....

Anyway, so let's get back to the purpose of this post. This weekend, I made a concerted effort to crawl out of my Christmas Denial rock. The children and I had a lot of fun putting up the Christmas tree and decorating the house.

Unfortunately, un-denying Christmas inevitably means that now I have to think about Shopping For Christmas Presents (SFCP). Now SFCP is the main reason why I was in my Christmas Denial rock in the place. I took a moment today to ponder on this a bit more. Sure, I can blame the crowds or the noise but the reality is that I cope very well with crowds and noise. I certainly don't let such things bother me on other occassions. So blaming crowds is really just camouflage.

I am beginning to suspect that I have SFCP phobia for a number of reasons . SFCP makes me feel:

- like I have to give because they *might* give to you
- anxious 'cause I have to guess how much money I have to spend for a gift from someone who *might* give me a gift
- anxious that I've "forgotten" someone.
- anxious 'cause I've made some presents and while it cost me a lot of my time, they might not be the sort of people who appreciates that and want the dollar value rather than the time value instead.

Because I live in a world where many relationships are formed on the basis of "stuff", its Christmas that highlight how we do not have mutually recognised way of showing our connection with others EXCEPT through the exchange of presents.

We give to them because they give to us. And inside there is a lingering resentment because the reality is that for many of us, we actually don't feel that the gift giving is actually celebrating our connection with others. In an abundant society, where so many of us have Too Much Stuff, we know that we don't really want or need any more stuff but we feel enormous pressure to go through the motions anyway.

So now I'm wondering....how can I show my appreciation of others at Christmas? And will they understand my expression of appreciation if it came in a form that is NOT a gift?

More things to ponder, I guess.

Anyway, I hope you have all had a good weekend and wishing you all a good week to come.

"Seems to me you lived your life like a shopping bag in the wind" Photo (and title) by Jamelah

Thank goodness no one from my work reads this blog....(craft project for secret santa pressie)

2009-12-09T23:12:00.005+11:00

Hi everyone!

I've *just* finished my latest crafting project - a present to a co-worker for my Branch's Christmas party tomorrow. (Yep, I left it to the last minute). Anyway, as no one from my work reads my blog, I figure I'm totally safe showing it off here.

The rules for this year's Secret Santa was $15. The recipient of my present is a co-worker who draws most (if not all) her notes as really cool diagrams. She takes a sketch pad and a pencil into meetings. As a visual person, I really love watching her draw her mind map for the next task or project.

Anyway, I bought her another sketch pad and pencils (brand new of course). I then made a sketch pad cover. The applique in front is yet another "made from scratch" applique....its supposed to be a cat (as she is a cat lover)....do you think it looks like a cat? Anyway, she can reuse the cover over and over again as any A4 sketch pad just slips into it. Then I made a matching pencil roll to hold the pencils.

Oh the pencil roll looks like its wonky...it really isn't. :D (Note to self: must cut off those loose threads as per last pic).

Upon wrapping this present, I realised I had forgotten to get a little card. So I made one using wool, glue and some nice paper left over from my daughter's felt face cards project.

(oh dear, just putting that link in to my daughter's project reminded me of my November well-being goal...um...short update to that... I didn't ask for help *sigh*. I really need to learn how to do that.)

Anyway, that's it! I'll be Christmas partying for the next 3 days (different Christmas parties - my work doesn't allow us to have 3 day parties. :P) so I don't think I'll get to post again until next week.

In the meantime, I hope you are all well!

Life....

2009-12-05T22:09:00.004+11:00

Hello everyone,

Oh man, I looked at when I last posted here and realised that almost a week has gone! Yep - December is turning out to be as busy as I had predicted it to be. December is also throwing humungous curve balls at me at the moment and I'm finding myself feeling the need to hide under a rock.

...but...isn't it funny how when life seems to get too challenging, something will come along to change your perspective. Has that ever happened to you?

It happened to me today.

I had been feeling overwhelmed by my current challenges when I passed a shop window and saw this sign:

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain.

"Dance like no one is watching" Photo by HDC Photography

And to me, reading that sign was fortuitous because it served as an important reminder. It was a reminder that I have, in the past, danced in the rain.

I am reminded that the rains have been instrumental in me growing as a person.

I am reminded I can dance in the rain, because I have already learned the skills and have built the support to thrive in whatever conditions I have to live under.

So here's to Life's rainy days and for Fate's hand in reminding me that I do have the choice to dance.

My 2009 Wrap-up

2009-11-30T20:21:00.004+11:00

Hello everyone!

Well, tomorrow it will be December and no doubt I'll get busier than ever. I wrote a whole post about me being a bahumbugger but I realised that pretty much every post I've put up about Christmas is about me being a bahumbugger....and after awhile that just gets old. (hehe) So I will spare you and concentrate instead on my highlights.

Now I've always wanted to do a yearly wrap-up but have always planned to do it after Christmas...and of course I get too busy and so I don't do anything. So I thought I'd do a wrap-up now.

2009 has been a great year for me overall. It had been challenging at times but I definitely learned a lot.

Consumption highlights for me:

January: Finally getting rid of my credit card debt
February: Attended the first ONC* Handmade Markets
March: Finally started to build my nest egg
May: My lemon tree suddenly gave me HEAPS of lemons (after years of giving me only 1 or 2 lemons for the year).
August: Cadbury Dairy Milk Australia NZ announced that they will be getting fairtrade certification (the thought of this still makes me smile)
April to September: Furnished my entire house (including kitchenware) for under $1,000.
September: Got "free" food from my garden for the first time.
October: Made my first dress without using a pattern or online tutorial (completely freehand).

On more personal fronts, I think I will remember 2009 as the year where I've realised the full extent to which I can use the skills that I've learned since my no-buying brand new year. Its the year when I finally adjusted to being a sole parent. Its the year where I can look back and see that the skills I've learned in living a simpler life (like cooking, sewing, mending etc - ie living frugally) have helped me so much in that adjustment.

"Zen/Striped Rock" Photo by Mandolux

Three years from when I stopped buying brand new, I look back now and see just how far my little steps have taken me. I now live according to the values that I espouse. I have become more confident in my abilities to learn. By living simply, I am experiencing true freedom of choice in regards to what I *do* spend my time and money on. I am now doing things that I love (but had once thought I didn't have the time for). Not only am I continuing to craft and sew, but I'm also now back to cycling, to playing the piano and doing martial arts.

Of course, there are still challenges ahead of me. I have a long way to go in learning how to consistently get food from my garden (with the weather here becoming so unpredictable - I have come to realise that it will be hard work to become successful at what I like to call "extreme gardening"). I have many little things to do to make my house more sustainable. I would also like to get back into photography again (I found my old manual SLR camera this weekend! I'll have to go out and see if I can remember how to use it...and see if there are still places around that can develop rolls of film.)

Anyway, this has become a long post so I will sign off now. In my next post, I hope to answer Ryan's question about what I meant regarding placing a fabric strip on top of my curtains. (I'm so sorry for taking so long Ryan. Its a little hard to explain and so I've been waiting for the opportunity to show you what I meant using pictures.)

I hope you are all having a wonderful week.

**********************
*ONC = Our Nation's Capital

Kahlil Gibran: "On Children" (Happy Birthday to my Daughter)

2009-11-28T23:51:00.007+11:00

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Hello everyone!

I hope your weekend is going well. As you can see, I haven't quite found bojo*. I'm afraid that until the weather gets cooler you may find me being a bit erratic in my posting here. (Oh dear, that would mean April 2010! hehe)

Anyway, back to the purpose of this post....

When I first read Kahlil Gibran's poem above, I have to admit, I didn't really understand it. I had come into parenthood with such grand ideas about how I would raise my children and how they would be. It was a shock to me to realise that I couldn't plan and manage my babies the way I planned and managed my work. I spent months trying to do so and it just made me (and my firstborn) miserable.

It wasn't until I stopped, looked and listened to what my baby was trying to tell me that I finally learned how to let go. Let go of the idea that I can force my children to fit into my own ideas of what I think my children should or could be.

And it wasn't until I let go could I read Kahlil Gibran's poem and finally understand the beautiful truths in it.

I have mentioned many times here that my journey towards a simple lifer is mine alone, and not my children. The best I can do is to show them that values are important and that it is possible to truly live within one's own values. At the same time, I acknowledge that in the end, it is up to them to define what their values are.

Today, my daughter celebrated her 7th birthday with her friends. As I watched my beautiful girl laugh, play and dream, I see that she is well on her way in her own journey. I am so priveleged to be her mother.

*bojo = blogging mojo

Egg Carton Sewing Box

2009-11-25T22:44:00.004+11:00

Hi everyone!

I had a lovely day today. My friend Bec came over and we had a lovely time catching up and crafting together. There's something wonderful about sitting around a crafting table, chatting with a friend while we made things for our families.

Anyway, it will be my daughter's birthday soon, and I will be giving her, her own sewing machine. I have managed to score a travel sewing machine and I wanted her to have her own little sewing box.

So using felt pieces left over from our Felt Faces Cards project, embroidery thread (bought some time back from the op shop) and an egg carton I came up with this:

I still need to buy her a pair of scissors, that's why you can see a big gap to the right of the fabric pens.

I filled her sewing box with things from my own sewing supplies and made the two pin cushions (though the alien pin cushion is for embroidery needles).

I hope she likes it...

Depression Cooking (Baked Apples)

2009-11-23T22:32:00.006+11:00

Hey everyone!

Okay, so I'm determined to find my bojo* by forcing myself to blog. So I went over to one of my favourite sources of blog-writing inspiration, Blog This, and saw that this week's challenge was to blog about my Quick Fix meal.

I had a little laugh at this one because quick (and frugal) meals are a speciality in my house. Regular readers will know that my children (ages 6yrs and 5 yrs) often cook for me. I have found that the key to successful cooking by children is to make sure that they make simple and quick meals. They are too young to have the attention span to make anything too complicated and I am a big believer in setting up my children to succeed when they are learning new habits.

Further, as a sole parent, I have to admit that I often find myself not having the energy or motivation to allocate enough time to cook elaborate meals for myself and my children.

So pretty much every recipe I have shared here is quick - often with less than 15 mins preparation time.

Having shared a few links now with you (in the paras above) on my quick meals, I've decided that its time I learn more quick meals. A few days ago, one of my Facebook friends shared this great youtube channel "Depression Cooking". The videos on that channel are of Clara, a 94 year old American woman who shares her simple and frugal recipes from the Depression era. I have been enjoying watching her videos and thought I'd share this one that I want to try soon.

It looks so simple, frugal and more importantly, yummy! So that's my next cooking project. (Grocery shopping this weekend for apples). Me, being me, I've decided to vary it a bit and add some sultanas as well - inspired by Elana's Pantry's photo**:

I will be serving mine with ice-cream...

**********************************************
*bojo - blogging mojo

**Note that all photos on my blog have a Creative Commons General Attribution licence on them - which means that the photographer has given permission for others to use their photos provided that they are attributed.

Searching for Bojo...

2009-11-22T22:42:00.003+11:00

Leopard Sleeping on the Tree. Photo by Najeebkhan
I chose this photo because this is how I'm feeling at the moment.

Hello everyone!

Firstly, a big sorry for the long time in between posts. We've been having some really hot days lately (and its not even summer yet!) and I find that I always lose my bojo (blogging mojo) when its hot. Instead, I prefer to just sit around reading books and perhaps indulging in a boggle game or two (snort, okay more than two).

I have done one new thing though! I made soap from scratch today! Details are over at Simple Green Frugal Co-op.

My garden is also not looking too good. I kept believing the weather man when he said it would rain...it didn't. And so my veges are now looking very very dehydrated.

I have not yet gotten close to achieving my November challenge: To ask for help. I need to do this soon!

Oh dear, I've just realised that this entire post could be summarised into three words: I'VE BEEN SLACK.

Ah well.

If you see my bojo anywhere, please send him back! In the meantime, here's me wishing for cooler weather.

I hope you are all well.

Consumption Rebellion

Conquered the Clutterbug Nests!

Do you know what is good for you?

Decluttering Fail and a Rant

Day 1: Declutter by 2012 Challenge

Clutter....(yep its that time again!)

Merry Charisma Wrist Everyone!

Courage

Building Resilience in Children

Yet another reason why children should help out at home

Newspaper bin liner - alternative to plastic bags

Simple = Slow?? I dont' think so!

"Tomorrow" A $50 Bunnings Voucher Giveaway

On my mind: trees

On my mind: Why do they do this? *cries*

Guess what this is?

On parent bashing...

On my mind...

Hooray! (a budgeting high)

Sinking in...what I've learned ($2 a day challenge)

$2 a day challenge - what my daughter learned

MIDNIGHT! I've finished the $2 a day challenge!

Day 4: $2 a day challenge. Almost there!

$2 a day challenge - impact on my family - day 3

Day 2 ($2 a day challenge)

"No thank you" & what the $2 means ($2 a day challenge)

Groceries - OMFG ($2 a day challenge)

I'm going to survive on $2 a day for food and drink

New winter wardrobe - dressed by op shop

Made my own floor lamp!

Happy Fairtrade Easter!

Overwhelmed

Thoughts on "work"

"Manly" :P

Photos of my neighbourhood

My feel good list...

2011 - my year for...

Who wants to have everything??

I am in the new house! (and reflections on stuff)

Here comes the rain again....

Weird how the universe provides...

This is hard...(but let's not talk about that)

Redefining the boundaries of my nest egg

Selling...

Saving....

The line....(and an update)

Decluttering! So giving away the following...

Last minute costumes

Sometimes, they move me so much...

Spending is harder than earning

It's black....with a bit of white.

I see red...:P

Update: spending-only-$50-from-my-pay budget

Spending...

That's not a tough budget...THIS is a tough budget

Wearing second-hand...do you tell?

Busy life - fell off the wagon...

Pocket money journey - an update

I see green (first attempt at crazy patchwork)

"'Pretty' is a word unworthy of everything﻿ you will be"

And the band played Waltzing Matilda...

You are gorgeous just the way you are...

My top travel worry

Some long weekend crafting

Spending is also cultural (no-spend week fail)

Generosity (a no-spend week update)

No-spend week starts with Earth Hour!!

Yep I'm going to do it again! (No Spend Week)

Putting money in its place

Busy!! Housework as a way to celebrate bonds

Projecting the "me I want people to see"

Thank you (featuring your comments)

I want I want I want...

Consuming food according to my values

Sustainable living in the ONC*

Sole Parenting and Ethical Consumption

Children, harmful sexualised messages and self-regulation

My tote!

I haven't blogged because...

Too much caffeine & sugar= reconstructed halter top

On my mind: Why do they do this? cries

"'Pretty' is a word unworthy of everything you will be"