Well, here I am still sporadically blogging...just when you think I've stopped, I pop up again! hehe. As you can see, I FINALLY have changed my blog template for 2011!
A quick update on what's been happening (mostly for my relatives, so feel free to skip this paragraph). I've been super busy at work, with two major projects nearing major deadlines. It was stressing me out trying to cope with the workload 4 days a week, so I decided to temporarily start working full-time until the deadlines have been met. My children too are now becoming more and more interested in doing more activities (they had previously chosen, with my encouragement, to just do 1 extra-curricular activity) and so I have now agreed for them to do 2 activities each. They are now doing Sea Scouts, which they absolutely love. So now I am trying to balance their need for "down time" and their need to have peer groups outside of their school group.
In terms of budgeting and saving (and now more related to this blog), I have now saved enough to start kitchen renovations at my new house! Even though the work has not yet started, I have to say I'm very proud that I didn't have to go to the bank to borrow the money (though at times, its been tempting!). I hope I can continue to save (its been 2 years now of automatically putting in at least 10% of my pay into savings and then at the end of my pay period, automatically putting the rest into savings.)
Speaking of renovations, one of the things I have been slowly learning to do are the "manly" things around the house - you know, things like putting up shelves, changing tap washers etc. Its funny, I realised today that my anxiety over doing things like that pretty much stem from the same sort of thinking I used to have over sewing and crafty things. Back then, I had thought I couldn't learn those sorts of things because I wasn't creative. Now, I thought I can't learn manly things because....well I'm a woman - not a man.
You know I never realised that a modern woman like me could harbour such "old fashioned" ideas... but I do wonder how many women also subconsciously think the same thing?
One of the challenges of becoming a sole parent, has been trying to make my money stretch a bit further. While my simple life has gone a long way in helping me with this, inevitably, the task of doing manly things can help save a bit further. At first, this meant learning how to operate a lawn mower (yep, I didn't know how to do this!) or hang a heavy picture on a wall (nope didn't know a thing about struts or whatever you call those blocks of wood behind the gyprock wall. lol!) But slowly, slowly I learnt - mostly because I didn't want to have to hire a handyman for every little manly thing that needed doing around the house.
Shelf I put up in my daughter's room (with the help of a friend who told me about those screw/nail thingies that expand behind the wall and the help of the hardware store man, who told me how to use liquid nails properly....and no, liquid nails are not a good replacement for actual nails. :P)
Then slowly I realised that it didn't have to stop at "little manly things", I could (just maybe) learn how to do bigger things around the house. And so I have. Since then, my list of "big manly things" (lol) has been replacing a wardrobe door, installing my dishwasher and fixing my leaking fridge. I thought about taking photos of my finished work, but I've realised that unlike crafty things, taking photos of doors and appliances aren't really very exciting. :)
So how did I fix those things? Basically I learned in the same way as I learned to sew - by asking people (strangely enough, mostly men) to help me, by reading it on the web and watching it being done in You Tube. I'm still not quite there - and I have to admit, I am still a bit anxious over doing these things, but just like sewing, the more I do, the more willing I am to try and do a bit more.
And hell, if it fails then I can always try to fix it...and if I fail again, then I *could* pick up a phone and call a handyman!
Next project will be to replace my kitchen sink and tap - but as I have ordered a new benchtop for my kitchen, that can wait until the benchtop is ready to be put in. (Which gives me plenty of time to talk to people and watch it being done on the web...because I'm sure someone out there has already thought of filming how to put a kitchen sink in! hehe)
What about you? Do you do "manly" things around the house?
8 comments:
You have really hit on something for me with this post. I have a partner that does all the "male" jobs around the place, but I do wonder whether I am capable of doing some of these things myself. As an added point, when he does some of my "female" jobs I'm left feeling useless like he can do it all, yet I'm limited because I'm....me? Female? Old Fashioned? I think I might have to prove something to myself too, and start stepping up to some of these tasks. I've always wanted to know how to change a tap washer!
E this has been one of my favourite posts of yours because I was giggling and nodding the whole way through it!!
I too have discovered the world of "Manly" jobs, and also discovered that most of them aren't half as challenging as I think they are, and that google is a fabulous resource LOL. The anxiety I felt initially about approaching such tasks is now less and less, and I realise the divide between "mens work" and "womens work" is really closing for me.
Upon asking one of my brothers for some practical tips one day, he asked me why I had to be so darned independent and do everything myself... my reply was that I didn't have the patience to wait for him to come and show/help me, and I was actually learning heaps.
Interestingly, though, since he has seen how "capable" I've become, he is more willing to help me out - although he is very careful to say he will SHOW me how to do things - he said he's never DOING anything for me again that I can do!
The only issue I have is that I'm not very strong, so sometimes I do lack the physicality required for some tasks :( Do you ever find this too?
I can't wait to see how your kitchen looks after the reno's and I'm positive you will do a fine job with the sink :)
Delurking here...
Well, I've installed lighting and kitchen taps, built bedroom furniture, put up shelves, patched walls, built a shed (with help), shingled a roof, installed drywall (again, with help) including doing the seams, tiled a floor, painted uncountable rooms, do all the yard work (including a large veggie garden)... so yeah, I think I have :)
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you are single and too stubborn to pay someone to do something you can do yourself.
I find DIY incredibly empowering :) A lot of the men I socialize with aren't more educated to the ways of the hardware store than myself. I have built fences and dug trenches alongside my husband, and half the time neither of us has any clue of what we're actually doing.
Out of the two of us my partner (who is a guy) doesn't have a clue when it comes to these things. His dad did fix things but always ended up angry and never let kids help him. My dad, on the other hand, did let kids help him, so I've put up gyproc and things. And since moving in with him, we've taken apart the washing machine and put together an IKEA bookshelf. He helped when I told him what to do.
Unfortunately there's a hole in the wall now, so we're probably going to hire a person to fix that because I've got no tools whatsoever. But apparently the guy will cost 200 dollars...
Thanks all!
Christie, isn't it funny how we fall into those roles? Though I do think its great you have a partner who also does female jobs. I've known many a man who wouldn't.
Therese, I always love reading your comments! Yes there are times when I find I am just not physically strong enough but oddly enough those times seem to be getting fewer and fewer. I've gotten quite adept at using trolleys and levers to do most of the heavy stuff.
K - whoa! you are amazing! You should blog about it sometime, I know it would inspire a lot of women to do more "manly" stuff.
TS - hehe. Come to think of it, I also know a few blokes who also call handymen to do that sort of stuff too. I know when I fixed my fridge and installed the dishwasher, the blokes at my work said they didn't know how to do stuff like that. :) I also think its wonderful that you and your husband do these tasks together.
Krista - you know there are times too when I'm limited - not because I don't think I can do it, but because I don't have the tools. I've started looking around at equipment hire stores but yeah, sometimes those don't cut it because I need tools - not equipment. I'm lucky, my next door neighbour has a huge amount of tools and he's said if I ever needed anything, I can just borrow his.
My partner and I share the household chores quite evenly - we share the cooking, I do the laundry, he vacuums etc - and the DIY too. He knows all about electrics but I'm the one who builds things (from flatpack or from scratch), the one who does the bulk of the decorating and the gardening; and we share the grunt work - like carrying a ton of woodchips down four flights of stairs to our chicken run earlier this month.
I think it confuses my in-laws because they believe in more traditional gender roles but I agree with Tread Softly, it's empowering to be able to do stuff myself rather than having to wait until my partner is available - or to be able to help him/have him help me if it's a two person job.
What you say is so true. Great post. My Aunty decided she wanted some new shelves and cupboards. She went to a night class and learnt and then from there has built so many things around her house. She even visited her sister and built her a huge custom made spoon rack for her spoon collection. She said it was just like learning to do anything. Cheers, Wendy
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